Monday, November 07, 2005

No buyers remorse

IMFL '06 sold out in less than 3 hours. My morning began at 4 am with a terrible dream whereby I couldn't get my computer to work and I couldn't find the registration page. While I'm remarkably low key about the race (read confident, not unenthusiastic) my dreams bear out the thing I fear most-not getting a chance to dance at all. As I've mentioned, I missed the two biggest sporting events in my life by circumstance and stubborness. Not this one. I registered at 9:03 cst. I paused long enough to read the tome of a waiver-humourous writing at times- and cruise controlled through the quesions. No second thoughts.

Until I got on the treadmill for my first official "in training" workout. Then my mind began to review the questions I'd answered.

Occupation: Homemaker, domestic diva, stay at home mom, however you break it down, average. Who the hell am I to think I should even think about trying an Ironman? (Well, with the kids in school I do probably have more time than any of you to train, at least through the school year-next summer is a different story)

Significant triathlon accomplishments: Who the f*$@ing hell do I think I am signing up for an ironman? I've completed a grand total of 3 sprints and 1 almost olympic distance tri for a grand cumulative total of 6:24 of competition.

Insert string of expletives that commercial grade bleach could not clean from the walls of my mouth.

So, I cranked the 'mill to 6:18 m/miles and let this thinking run it's course. I despise swearing. I loathe the f word. Not in the puritan sense where I cringe around others who swear. I despise the swearing that cascades from my own brain. When I swear, it's not me. It's my s.o.b. of an old man who considered me a cheap f@*#ing whore and went to great pains to prove his point. He hated me and would consider it a crowning achievement to kill me, god knows he tried on more occasions than my memory banks can store.

Have you overcome any significant hurdles to prepare for this event? Hell yes. or Hell. yes.

There are days I struggle to understand why I'm still alive. (my kids, hubby and friends notwithstanding-this is internal me)

Not on race days. On race days I feel absolutely alive.

If a sprint can do that for a person, what an amazing gift an Ironman might be.

A gift from a Father who is I Am, who took over from the one who was not.

Erik Liddel was a Scot, an incredibly principled man, an amazing runner and a missionary. "Chariots of Fire" told his story of Olympic glory. The best line in the movie is when he is explaining his motivation to run to his sister who was indignant that he would allow running to intefer with his work at the mission in China. "God created me to run, and when I run, I feel his pleasure." To feel that pleasure is priceless. 140.6 miles of priceless. So, I'm going to name my new tri bike "Liddle Dream"

Dream big my friends, the team's going to Florida!!

13 comments:

Chris said...

Woohoo! Congrats on the "big purchase". Three hour sellout! That has to be some kind of IMNA record!

Jeremy said...

Sounds like you've got all the fuel you need. I won't be racing, but hopefully I can be there to chear you all across the line.

3hrs! sheesh, I'd expected at least 12.

Shelley said...

WHOA...now harness that energy and pull it out when you need it on those 100 mile rides next year..you are sooooo going to love this!!

Steffany said...

Your post made me cry...and cry... Thank you so much for sharing your pain, for dreaming so big, and for being an inspiration to many!

Flatman said...

You are the coolest. I am proud of you for this and will be even more proud to see you cross the finish line (online, that is).

You rock.

mipper said...

chills Trimama... chills. still running up and down my arms and back. you are incredible. i love the name... you are going to tear IMFL up!

Comm's said...

one the best of your best. I fortunately get to met you in January and don't have to wait till November.

Mica said...

Moving post. Go get 'em!

Bolder said...

Hi Trimama... I'm back.

Well, you may yet get to meet up with me in Florida, and perhaps a return of the prairie dog leader.

Take care, Bolder.

Wil said...

Trimama. Dang. You never cease to amaze me. There are few posts that stop me in my tracks and yours always seem to be on the top of the list. You probably have no idea the respect I have for you - some days I'm amazed myself at how it multiplies.

Phil said...

Very touching post. Congratulations on getting in.

Mia said...

Awesome post! You make me want to get out and tri and i've never really had that urge until just now. Very inspirational.

Dan said...

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