Friday, December 30, 2005

Best Rock Riff---Ever!

Argue if you will "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd


The song is 9 minutes 11 seconds-think that might take a little endurance?

Soulful contemplation gives way to chaotic angst gives way to climatic peace and resolove--simply awesome.

I have got to upload "Purple Rain" by Prince.

Feeling fully recovered from TCM and the Holiday Lalapalooza I am ready to let the training commence-again.

I'll be meeting Nancy and friends in Frostbite Falls. Come along for the journey-it might help some of you warm weather tri bloggies toughen up a bit. While typical cold weather scandinavian food tends to be some burgoo white paste concoction, Trimama will indulge her western upbringing and make a hearty batch of SOB chili. That's "South Of the Border" for you puritans, Son Of a...upon first tast-guaranteed to warm those frozen toes, particularly when consumed with generous quantities of Padron Anejo straight up (none of this frilly margarita stuff-it's 10 below for goodness sakes.)

That will be the last sweet nectar for Trimama until November 4th, the greatest sacrifice (heavy on the melodrama here) following Kahunas challenge for New Year's resolution to sacrifice. Leaving Frostbite Falls, if it doesn't have "Light" and "Beer" in it's name it's not passing Trimama's lips. Hold me to it Tridaddy-glad Chang's comes and goes before we arrive at the Falls.

My first tri of the season will be Jan 1

when I join the likes of these and plunge into frozen Lake Minnetonka. Some geeks and I from the local tri club figure we will run the lake to warm up, take the plunge and then if we factor in a bike ride at some point- voila Frozen Triathlon.

There is still room to register, so come on in, the water's fine.

Happy New Year! Let's go get our geeks on!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Sometimes to go foward, you have to go back

With the commencement of my Non Training Training (NTT) I've used some down time to think through this Ironman endevour. In my pre- holiday/prep to hibernate- funk I bought the book "Becoming an Ironman" which I began to read and then promptly dropped myself from the Florida race. The stories in the first half of that book were simply not me-too much thought, too much technical, too much not Trimama. Understandably each race is individual, but for me triathlon is about this
and a little of this
It's about training hard when I train, and racing hard when I race. But not taking myself or the sport so seriously that I can't pause mid race to kiss an owie for my support team.

There was a day when I was a ultra competitive athlete, and those days have gone the way of this.

After the rush of Christmas subsided, I picked up "Becoming an Ironman" and began reading from the back of the book-which I should have done to begin with. That is where I found the story of Bob Babbitt who ran the third Ironman in Hawaii in 1980. His story was a delight, and enlightened my soul, put me right where I want to be for Florida and beyond, so I thought I'd share a few exerpts.

Thanks in advance for indulging me in a slightly longer post.

"In 1979 I read an article in Sports Illustrated about this thing called the Hawaiian Iron Man Triathlon. At the time I was rooming with Ned Overrend, who would eventually become the world mountain biking champion...We both thought the race sounded pretty cool and decided we were going to train for and attempt the event in 1980."

"Ned and I trained in the pool in our was maybe 12 yards long...the pool was 120 lengths to a mile, so we did 240 lengths...We would get dizzy. We would get out of the water and stagger on the deck."

That year of the race the swim was moved to the Ala Moana Channel so as to keep the race from being cancelled or moved a day. ABC offered to film the race but it had to go on schedule, so it was moved from the Waikiki Rough Water course to the channel because the surf was breaking at 7-9 feet. One participant by the name of John Huckaby, or "Huck" could run ultra marathons but couldn't swim a stroke.

"I was swimming in a shallow section [of the channel] because I wasn't very confident. On my way back on my first lap, I almost ran head-on into this guy's knees. John Huckaby was walking the swim. He walked 2.4 miles-the only guy ever to do the swim and get blisters on his feet!"

Huck was later lost in the middle of the night, and race officials didn't know where he went. There was no time limit on the race.

"he decided to stop in a diner for breakfast. They spotted him coming out wiping his it was a little different crowd than you see nowadays."

"I bought a bike from a police station auction. It had been in a fire and cost me sixty dollars. The whole back end was burned and I immediately bought a fuzzy raccoon seat cover, added padded handlebars, and had a Radio Shack radio mounted on top. I didn't know how to change a tire, so I bought solid rubber tires. I actually waxed the tire rims to get them on. And my training rides were never more than 30 miles."

Bob goes on to explain how a group of Navy SEALS had him confused with Gordon Haller, and were admiring his bike set up as the bike that had won the inaugural event.

"After my swim I met up with my support crew. One of the kids I taught, her dad lived in Honolulu adn volunteered for the job. He had a little Fiat convertible, and he and his two girlfriends decided it would be fun. First job was to get me ready for the ride. I had socks that came up to my knees and my Jack Purcell tennis shoes and my wool cycling jersy. I didn't know what to eat during something like this, so I had given them 20 loaves of Hawaiian sweet bread. I got on my bike and tuned my radio as I rode through Waikiki. The station played back a Rolling Stones concert from Maui. I was so jazzed...I rode thinking 'what a great experience".

"Twenty-five miles into the ride, I saw my support crew...I rode along and reached out and they handed me a Big Mac, fries and a coke. At mile 75 they got me a snow cone, a rainbow snow cone."

"The ride ended at Ala Moana Tower and as I pulled into the little transition area, I heard this touchy feeling music coming from a boom box. I looked over and saw bamboo mats laid out and there was my support crew. I got off my bike and put the kickstand down. 'We think you should have a good massage.' Sounds good to me. So I lay down and got a forty-five minute massage before starting the marathon."

In the early years of the race they weighed you and if you lost a certain percentage of your body weight they pulled you from the race. Bob continued on the race eating his Hawaiian sweet bread and drinking water and gatorade. His weigh in's were humourous.

"154 pounds?" "Can you repeat that?" "At the last weigh station he was 151."

"This guy's gained 3 pounds in five miles. How can you gain weight? You can't gain weight during this race!"

"I felt pregnant with all that Hawaiian sweet bread and water and Gatorade and my rainbow snow cone. Oh, and my Big Mac and fries."

Bob's Fiat support crew followed him through the final 6.2 miles of the run leading the way with the headlights on, as there was no one else on the course.

"I came into town and saw a little line across the road with a wire overhead and a lightbulb hanging from it. I slowed down and stopped at the line."

"Hey you," I heard this voice in the dark and looked over.

Yeah, I said

"You in the race?"


"You're done!"

"Where was the brass band? Where were the big crowds? Where was the big ironman hoopla?...This is the stupidest thing I've ever done, I thought"

Bob Babbit went on to complete six more Ironman races. "The first one was an adventure because we didn't know what we could do."

"That's what I like so much about the wheelchair athletes. It brought ironman back to the roots of 'can I finish?" One of the funniest things I hear now is, 'I had a bad race. I had a bad day'. Maybe they finished 20 minutes off their time....none of us ever had target times. John Collins started this event and his son, Michael, did the race in 1979. Michael was out there more than 24 hours doing the race....[he said] "You know what a bad day is? A bad day is when you are walking in the marathon and you're walking through the town, and you see the paperboy and he's delivering the paper with results of an event that you are still in. That's when you know you are having a bad day."

That's food for thought.

For my own sanity I have to remind myself that all of my races are not about competition, but about adventure.

What can I do?

In balance with "what should I do?"

Thanks you Mr. Babbit for the dose of humor and perspective.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Yes we had a nice Christmas weekend. As I am getting older Christmas seems to be getting easier, to which I credit my far more relaxed approach to the festivities. I'm a pretty patient, low key person but the holidays could make me nutty. I think you can spend a lot of your early married/kids Christmases trying to recreate or definitely not recreate the holiday of your youth and as you age and mature you are able to make them more to your own style, which your kids will spend years trying to do or undo. This year was a weather anomaly in that we had snow and warmth. For a few days we worried that the snow might all melt, but our rockin' hill faces north and the sun is securely tied in it's southern sky ellipse-so the hill was great, and fast and covered with jumps. A fun time was had by all. So much fun that when we went down the hill leaving our boot at the top, we didn't notice our foot was naked until we reached the bottom and had to devise a way to ascend on one foot.

Oh, come on you guys, bring me my boot!

Finally someone spared Soap the trauma and us the drama and chucked her boot down the hill to her. So she climbed the hill, retaliated with snow and


And when it was over and all energy was spent the crew returned home for hot cocoa and snacks. Tri hubby's sister is a single mom of 5 kids-4 girls. The Tribe has a lot of fun with their cousins and they spent the afternoon with presents and video games. Trihubby, who has spent some quality male bonding time blowing up his buddies with a nuclear arsenal in Total -World- Destruction -and -Domination- video game (I know virtually nothing about video games except that they are loud and they always ask me to play when they want to laugh-I humor them sometimes) and he set the girls up to play. He had to leave when the girls turned the game Utopian and had the tanks holding hands rolling across the countryside, occasionally shooting at targets in unison. Another friend of ours, also a single mom, came over with her son. That was a lot of estrogen in the house so poor Trihubby who had incinerated some wood in the backyard and had quite a nice bon fire crackling, departed to smoke a holiday cigar with his brother. That left us girls to chat and PlayStation for the balance of the afternoon.

I continued my non training training and managed an 94 minute 11 mile run Saturday. It was lovely. Reminded me why I like to run. Ran with Christmas music, through the snow, looking at holiday lights along the way. Followed it with a great Christmas Eve meal, late night church service and a ride home to look at lights.

Aaaahhh, life is good.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Happy Spring

So, when are you going to start your Ironman training? questioned Trihubby.

I figure I'll start pulling it together about October 1st-that should give me enough time.

The 3100 yards in the pool last night-final 200 in full on sprints must be the "non training" training.

Trihubby joined the 5 or 6 million other people with dirty cars at the little car wash assembly line place. (I always have to go through the octopus ones with Buck Naked Boy-we have a great time pretending we are scared) While he was waiting in line he spotted a car with a 140.6 circle on it, and a very geeked mom in it. He caught up with her in the waiting room, turns out she did Couer d lene (sp?) this past year. He was very impressed with her physique. "She was totally fit!" he offered enthusiastically. I forgot to mention he began the conversation saying he had something very sobering to say. "She looked like a teenager, but better!" "So when are you going to start training?"

Apparently the Holiday cheer accumulating on Trimama isn't what he had in mind. I was thoroughly sobered. But wait there's more.

"She was cute like you, and just so fit. Not sinewy or too thin, she looked like a teenager but better."

He seemed to be stuck on the teenager thing. But I understood his point. And he said I was cute. Within the confines of marriage it seems to work to talk about athletic bodies and not offend each other. He can observe a woman's backside, comment and there I am agreeing or disagreeing along with him. Only in the context of sports can a man get away with that.

"A little girl was run over by a car at the car wash." "It was awful, everyone was screaming and they called 911"

Oh, that's the sobering part.

It turns out the girl was ok as far as we knew. They move the cars quickly and she had gotten in front of one and been bumped aside by it. She was hysterical, the mom was hysterical, the waiting crowd was sobered. Trihubby had that stunned, "that was awful", effect for the rest of the afternoon. Life is so precarious at times, accidents tend to remind us that nothing is certain-so go hug your loved ones. Preferrably after you finish reading my post :)

So, as part of my non-training I went to the pool last night and did 3100-felt great! SLJ and Soapinator had swim team practice at the same time so it was a family swim of sorts. I had a nice chat in between sets with the girl I split the lane with, a runner in training for her first marathon. I assured her swimming and biking are a great complement to running, and then she could try a tri.

I think we have a cadre of divorced dads on the swim team. One was sitting on the pool deck watching practice.

I noticed during a rest interval he was watching the swimmers.

Almost makes you want to jump in and join them, doesn't it?

"Well, only if I had a suit like yours"

I got it at Sports Authority, they had plenty.

"But I wouldn't look as good as you in it"

That's true, because I don't have a hairy chest.

Thank goodness.

I moved into the next set.

I'm not very good at the pick- up game, thankfully don't have to be. In my attempt to seduce Trihubby later I told him about the pool conversation. Turns out while I was swimming he was checking out my backside from the observation window.

"You do look good in your swimsuit." He says matter of factly.

Like a teenager?

"Even better. You have a sexy butt."

Which he can grab any time he wants.

Merry Christmas All!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Who am I?

So the "list things about yourself" got me thinking, and thinking...

and I realized that I've spent 10 years thinking intently about who I am not. Growing up in a violent, cruel household tends to turn your thinking upside down and backward. I've spent a lot of time undoing that. Don't worry, this isn't a post about abuse, I promise, for every 1 thing I'd tell you about myself, there are 5 you'll never know-it would ruin your sleep and we all know how important sleep is to the endurance athlete :) and it's my burden to carry, so...

Who am I?

I think I'll come along for this ride, I might even learn something.

1-I'm 37
2-Married 15+ years
3-I like being married
4-I have 4 kids known as "the tribe"
5- Hyphen Girl 12, Soapinator 9, Standing Long Jump 7 and Buck Naked Boy 5 (they named themselves for this blog)
6-When I was 18 I swore I would never have children.
7-I thought I had no chance of being more than the least common denominator of my family
8- I also promised myself I wouldn't get married until I had a career established.
9-I met trihubby when I was 20
10-he changed my mind
11-God changed my heart
12-I had Hyphen girl when I was 25
13-Amazing what a little unconditional love can do for the soul
14- I love my kids- a lot
15-I'm not the least common denominator
16-I was a multisport varsity athlete in high school
17-I love sports
18-I used to dream of being on the women's national soccer team
19-I love to coach
20-I can never remember if it's coach or couch
21-I live in Minnesota
22-I started life in southern California
23-I moved to Colorado when I was 6
24-I consider Colorado my home even though I've lived in Minnesota longer.
25-I'd move back in an instant
26-That's a much more difficult statement than it was when I was 20 because my family and friends are here.
26-I tried my first triathlon 6 years ago-I trained for a week, it was a reaction to a bad event, it sucked so it's been stricken from the record
27-I first heard about tris in college-1986-damn that was a long time ago
28-I put that on my lifelong to do list
29-it took me 20 years to fulfill
30-now I'm signed up to do an Ironman
31-I am a moron
32-I like training
33-maybe I'm not such a moron
34-I love country music (not top 40 pop country, but real blue grass, old timey, country music)
35-I also love alternative, classical, jazz,
36-my favorite group is U2
37-Tequilla and cheap champagne make me goofy
38-I drink only red wine and light beer when I'm in training.
39-I lost 35 pounds since last year
40-I'm proud of the inches of space in my skinny jeans
41-I've gained back a few pounds, but my skinny jeans still have room to spare-yea me.
42-I'm a Denver Bronco fan
43-I can be equally cynical and naive at the same time
44-I am far more content giving then receiving
45-I pretty much hate shopping
46-Bike stores, camping stores and office products are the exception
47-Don't ask about the office products one, I have no idea.
48-I love to find bargains but I don't like cheap.
49-I loved cheap when I was younger but now it's just not worth the time and landfill space
50-I'm a political anomaly-I tend to agree with both sides to some degree, have strong convictions about what I believe but won't die on many political hills if it means the cost of friendship. I'm not a politician or policy maker so I can afford that luxury.
51-If I had a million dollars I would buy a large house in the country and adopt 16 kids. I want 20 kids and even I can do that math.
52-I am not so good at math but I graduated with honors from high school and college and I'm a member of the National Honor Society-so what does that say about the state of education?
53-I have a bachelor's degree in nutrition and I'm a dietitian
54-I'm a personal trainer at the YMCA
55-I like people
56-I'm an intracortical thinker and tend to write a lot in my head. Someday I'll download my brain and perhaps have a book to publish.
57-I began life as a pagan but left the dark side and am now an firm believer in Christ and Christianity
58-I despise arrogant "Christians"
58-My pagan roots generally make me feel like a wort on the buttock of the body of Christ (that's christian-ese for church) then I remember that Jesus said he came as a doctor to the sick and I feel right at home again.
59-I think actions speak louder than words
60-I think it is better to "be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry"
61-my heros tend to be the little guys who do extraordinary things.
62-there are dozens of "one another" verses in the bible like "love one another, respect one another, be kind to one another" I want my life to be goverened by those
63-I've been a pagan, catholic, epicopalian, charismatic and a baptist. The baptist one is current and really makes me laugh because if you've read my blog long enough you know I pretty much break the baptist mould-shatter it actually. Maybe that's why I feel like a wort.64- I like to joke and laugh a lot
65-Laughter is a good antidote for serious
66-I like to read-current titles: "Going Long, Surprised by Joy, Healing the Hardware of the Soul and Tale of Two Cities" My favorite books are the classics.
67-I love the outdoors
68-Someday I will own a horse farm
69-I love the mountains and the ocean
70-If you dropped by my house I'd welcome you in for a snack, but you'd better be ready for chaos. I'm not a meticulous house cleaner by any stretch.
71-I love to cook-baking is another story
72-I have a Lauren Bacall gap in my front teeth. I could say I have a David Letter gap but I prefer to be compared to a sexy aging blonde than a bald middle age man.
73-I don't like having my picture taken and I really shirk having my picture on my blog or any other public venue.
74-I prefer the background but am not shy-rather the opposite
75-I have a tendency to think too much-and therefore could probably list another 75, but that might be presumptious and rude, so there you go

Have a Very Merry Christmas Blog Family!


Tuesday, December 20, 2005

The hunt is over-almost

So, the hunt for a "real gun" has concluded. I found an entire arsenal here and what little boy couldn't use a master of weaponry starter set? Yikes! I found a nice replica cap gun for Buck Naked Boy and oh joy, Santa will have it here on Friday. The wonders of UPS. I fully endorse raising young boys to be men, but this site might be overkill (apologies for the pun). That means shopping is almost complete, just a few presents and the food to go. I have no idea what we are eating this weekend, which for me is rare. I love to cook and usually have that part mapped out the weekend of Thanksgiving-I need inspiration- I will become a food network tv whore today (since I have no idea how to link to a specific post, scroll down to Susan's discussion with hubby about ESPN-) I'm also working another part time job this week-like I need that, but Trihubby is a painter and he has a long time client who is trying to turn a house around and needed it painted. Trihubby is busy in a bazillion dollar home, so Trimama is painiting normal home. That will be #55 in my list of 75 things about me, I'm a professional house painter :) I've got the list compiled in my head, editing should be complete and the list posted by tomorrow-I hope. At any rate BONUS for me, I told Trihubby I'd be happy to help him (we had a few extra bills this year) but I want a bonus. I get 10% of the job for cash in my pocket for the holidays. $400.00 bucks cash!!! Best Christmas present ever-where it will go:

1) red buckets-I love those bell ringers
2) old people in line in front of me at the pharmacy who are chagrined at the cost of their meds
3) a dairy cow for an AIDS orphan family in Africa
4) the old vet who stands on the corner every Sunday morning with a cardboard sign
5) pretty much anyone who asks me for a buck in the next 2 weeks-trifamily excluded
6) christmas gifts for some of my neighbors (next door lost her mom a few weeks back-that would stink)

What would you do with $400.00 cash?

Friday, December 16, 2005

My Geek is frozen

I mean literally-my geek magnet is frozen to the back of my car. He looks cold. Maybe this geek thing is just for you people in warmer climes. My training brain seems to be hibernating right now, waiting for the storm of holiday season to pass.
Not training makes me feel like this. And it makes me want to chain smoke. I finally figured out that craving connection last night. Haven't touched the things, but they sure sound good. I bought "Going Long" which is a training manual for Ironman. Enjoyed it so far, but has me convinced that I will never be more than a m.o.p. largely because of the nutrition chapter. The author contends that the final step toward greatly improved status is to eat like a cave man. "Most energy should come from lean meats, fresh fruits and vegetables." No processed foods (no loss) and carbs only during intense workouts or races. On this out and back course of dust to dust I can see the turnaround point ahead and am more focused than ever to living life to it's fullest. I don't know any other cave men, so I think no carbs would greatly infringe on my pursuit of relationship. There is a whole post here, but suffice to say, I don't value the podium more than my abiity to share tea and cookies with my elderly neighbor. I imagine that one response to this might be, well you could visit and pass on the cookies. No for two reasons, that would be rude and hurtful, and I don't want to go through life explaining why I'm being rude and hurtful. This sport infringes on my life just enough right now, I don't mean to make an obsession of it. I eat a lot of whole grains, vegies, fruit etc and encourage my family in the same, but if I don't eat carbs I feel like this By the way, this is what Soapinator and Buck Naked did on their sick day. They both have asthma, both were getting behind on their battle of the bronchitis so both stayed home for a day of rest. The rest part didn't work out so well, but they had fun. Come to think of it, they both got better too.

For the record, Buck Naked wants a "real gun" for christmas. By "real gun" he means a starting gun and it factors into every current life pursuit. "Mom, do think I will get a real gun from Santa? Then Neighborboy and I can race when we sled." Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a decent cap gun? He decided he wanted a starting gun after he manned the finish line at Hyphen Girls track meet last spring. He has the whole start procedure down, he just needs a gun.

Rome wasn't built in a day.

It actually took four, and about forty bucks from the craft shop.
Some day 2000 years from now some mom is going to be cursing the existence of microwaves in antiquity.

Finally, the Adventure Girls say Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 12, 2005


What would you do?

This race in Colorado allows you to choose the order of the three disciplines, what order would you follow?

I have this sense that I wouldn't want to struggle into my wetsuit after running or biking-however I like to run and it might be fun to start with that for once....

About wetsuits, a friend in my local tri club offers this little piece of advice

Never fart in your wet suit.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Sunday rumble

My bike is sitting on the trainer right now, and a really bad Packers/Lions game is on Sunday night football-so why am I blogging? Because I have guilt.

To be precise, I have blogging guilt. Did post some great ones in the head over the weekend-that isn't very helpful though is it?

I need to bike for 90 minutes to keep on schedule, so it's off to train.

Saw Narnia-loved it! "It's the world dear, did you expect it to be small?" (great quote) Working alot because of people out on vacations. Neighborhood Christmas party last night-riot! The main soundtrack for the night was from an "all 80's truckstop cd" classic. Broke training-what can you do when Bailey's is floating around the room.

Decided if I ever give up Tri's I can go in for the rollerderby thing-in the event you missed it that was in the ad space for my site counter last week what the ???????? So, irony intact, this week is an ad for in line skates. Maybe fate is trying to tell me something. Dang it, I need to go train-good night all.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

We stand alone-sometimes

As triathletes and endurance sport athletes there are times that we stand alone, together. There are times that I fully embrace my unique passion to go farther, faster and there are times when I simply want to fit in with the broader population, to belong to the masses. We were at church last night and I was reminded of why it can be good to stand alone sometimes. Several weeks ago an earthquake shattered the villages of northern Pakistan, people who were already poor lost everything. With winter fast approaching an urgent call went out to aid organizations for housing construction before winter set in, potentially and likely killing the thousands left homeless by the quake. The supplies to build temporary housing were quickly available in abundance, but there were not enough hands to build shelters. An email arrived at our church imploring any able body men to please come help rebuild. Bear in mind, this was not a call to help build housing in Wisconsin, this was please fly half way round the world, take a four hour bus ride up into the mountains then travel by foot or military helicopter up into the remote and impassible road region of Pakistan where there will likely be bands of traveling terrorist that would just as soon kill you as receive help from a westerner (there was a reason that women were not asked to come). This was work in frigid cold under primitive resources, sleeping in plastic tents, eating whatever you can pack in, come and help us. 50 men dropped everything and started packing. One of those men is the husband of a friend of mine, the most unlikely of relief workers. Ben is around 6 foot and maybe weighs 150 pounds, a desk jockey with bad knees. He had 2 weeks to prepare and asked me to construct a workout schedule for him to get some sort of base of aerobic conditioning to prepare him to work-hard-at 8000 feet. He is the father of six kids, one with a wedding pending in June, one entering kindergarten. His wife didn't want him to go at first, but they prayed and realized the need was greater than their reservations. They left on Tuesday. Sometimes it's good to stand alone.

On Wednesdays I help with an Adventure Girls Club, an eclectic band of 5th and 6th graders hailing from inner city projects and affluent suburbs. Marlene leads this club she formed thirty years ago; a place for young girls to come and learn about life and value and unconditional love. Marlene knows every one of the 75 girls by name, knows their families and knows every girl that has passed under her care. She has changed lives and some of the current small group leaders who were adventure girls themselves bear that out. Marlene also teaches preshool kids every Tuesday for a mom's group. She knows every one of those kids, and their moms. Her co teacher told me that she has personally driven kids throughout the years, at times going in to fetch them on a cold morning, going into their homes to find a coat when someone comes shivering to the van in a t shirt, at times walking over passed out mom, to bring them to preschool, to love them. She does this month after month, year after year, and she has never been paid a dime to do so. At one low point she was ready to hang up the entire project when she coincidentally met one of her former "girls". This girl had overcome a thousand obstacles in life and had Marlene to thank, and she did. So, Marlene didn't quit then, and is an inspiration and a mentor to me today, for which I am grateful, there is only one Marlene.

Sometimes it is good to stand alone.

Monday, December 05, 2005

All things winter

Winter in the great white north can be brutal, but it can be quite beautiful as well. Hyphen Girl and Trihubby created a winter photo montage yesterday. The snowflakes were very cooperative, each one showing their distinct personality-kind of like the tribe. We thought this one looked like two swans-and note the little snowflake?
Six or so inches of fluffy white blanketed the homefront-yea a white Christmas. As I've contended here before, if you have to have cold, you might as well have snow to enjoy it. Recess duty for me today and the old axiom, sometimes it is better to beg forgiveness than to seek permission was well appreciated. The kids have an 8 foot slope at the edge of their playground domain which takes about 2 seconds to descend. A short trek through the woods lies an 80 foot, mogul studded sledding paradise, which coincidentally lies outside of the normal playground boundary. When queried about using the hill there was no one to ask, and the kid in me took over, heck yeah. Suddenly 45 kids were running pell mell through the woods and great delight and laughter ensued as they spent recess throwing themselves down the hill on plastic sleds or simply on their backs. Round two is second and third grade and once the announcement was made, melee followed to "the hill". As I jogged alongside, one little girl with complete trepidation asked me, "are you sure we can go to "the hill"? Did you ask the principal or something?" Better to beg forgiveness....I'm in charge and we're going to "the hill". One bloody nose and two bumped heads later, but I bet they had a better afternoon having fully exhausted themselves over recess. I'm a big advocate of fun exercise, and what is more fun than plunging down a hill in the snow-beats standing and shivering by the door. Oh, it was 3 fred (thanks Bolder) with 4 below wind chill. If you're going to have cold...
The basement is complete, which also means my new training area is ready, complete with Christmas Tree. I can spin and look out of the windows, or watch the television. I've decided to work through The Lord of the Rings trilogy-works well because each disk is about 1:40-I just tack on 20 of normal tv and I've got a good two hour spin. Not sure what I'm going to do when I have to bump it to three hours.
The tree is complete, yea for us. We were a white light family for a few years, so this year thought we should shake things up with blue and white lights. Perhaps I should have stayed with the white lights, for some reason the three strings of light ended up on the tree fully segregated-blue on top, white in the middle and blue on the bottom- an oreo cookie tree-somewhat dressed for Chanukah-and of course the kids love it- so it stays.

2 hour bike to Monday Night Football tonight, swim 2800 yards tomorrow.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Core Training? Any Questions?

This is what I want my mid section to look like when I break the tape at Florida.

Wishful thinking?

No. Not with help from my new friends "two handled medicine ball", "stability ball", "roman chair of torture" and "inverted back extension machine"

I have ridges. I thought they were my ribs-but that's muscle baby!

Now if I can just find a way to get rid of the last bit of fat, extra baby skin, and, oh I'm torn on this one, the stretch marks.

I think stretch marks are a trophy in and of themselves, but dang are they ugly.

Any useful suggestions can exclude any magic lotions, wraps in saran plastic, or costly spa treatments (unless there is a gift certificate enclosed :)

Irony-even with all the above wish list, I probably wouldn't wear a split uniform like that-modesty. (For those thinking this is a contradiction to the "strip to jog bra performance on T day-it was a full tank-sorry"

I just want to know that is under the hood-it's a confidence thing.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Kashi Exorcism

My gut has been giving me grief for the last three weeks-a circle of nausea, heartburn, bloating, nausea had finally settled or should I say unsettled into my lower gut. Voices in my head I'm used to but Barry White or worse yet Willie Aimes in the colon freaks me out. So, I followed the dr. Trimama prescription and performed a Kashi Exorcism. If I knew how to attach an mp3 I'd attach audio-it was ugly- but I feel better now.

I heard this on the radio today and it made me laugh--enjoy

Dear Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!



This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than with the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal.

The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Let it snow, let it snow let it snow

Snow storm round 2 hit today. Actually we woke up to winter wonderland. I say, if it's going to be winter it might as well snow-we look pretty funny snowshoeing in the mud. Winter trail running is a great cross training workout.

Back to the, "I'm a bad blogger" posting. Thanksgiving was a success-I made the bird and it was the best ever (by trifamily standards), if I should say so myself. We run the 5K with a group of friends in the morning and meet up with a larger group of friends for coffee. Great mental preparation for the assault on the Thanksgiving kitchen. Unlike Verticleman, I leave all the cooking to essentially the day of- but it was tasty.

The moratorium on Christmas ended at 12:06 am when Trihubby and Hyphengirl woke me singing Jingle Bells- they thought they were so funny-actually so did I. Then the alarm blasted at 3:55 am. It was Black Friday and there were sales to be had, so I picked up my neighbor at 4:30 and off we went. Unbeknownst to the entire metro, especially the weather guys, a winter storm was blowing through town. Can you beat a snowstorm on the first day of Christmas? We went to the evil, slave whoring Walmart and arrived at 4:45 to a line of 200 or so people. There was no body marking, but a definite race intensity was in the air. My neighbor and I chatted with 3 teen boys behind us in line and try to pry the insiders info from them. What in the heck got all of these Polaris clad people out of their turkey slumber to stand in line at Walmart. At 4:58 a cheer erupted at the front of the line and the first waves charged into the water, the Walmart .5K was underway. There was a slow press of mass broiling towards the two entrance doors. At first it was all civil and orderly, then one elderly Viking jacket slipped, the slip was mistaken for a run and all shopping hell broke loose-Viking jacket was never seen again. We were running now- Why are we running? I have no idea! I was here for the humor, not the $388 laptop. The carnage continued in the entrance where panicked shoppers wrestled over carts and bumper cart madness ensued. We headed to the toy aisle, wisely picking up a cart amongst those lined up in an aisle along the way and promptly hit a snarl of electronics traffic. Now the temptation in Black Friday shopping is to get caught up in the fervor and insist on having what everyone else insists on having. No, I don't need $2.88 dvd's I'll never watch. The dinner roll madness will not effect me today. We arrived at toys and quickly found the two sale items that had tempted us to brave the snow and the morning, clutching them close as leaving them in the cart might forfeit them to a cart burglar. Now time to employ my favorite spritely activity. Listening intently and looking in carts, I ascertain the "must have" toy and seek it out. Then you wander up and down the aisles careful to display your booty. "Oh, you found the twin Light Sabers with 1202 options! Where did you get that?" Using the Light Saber, you point the sale maddened mom down the aisles to the Light Saber kiosk and watch her hurdle electric cart man enroute. I am evil. I don't even want Light Saber with 1202 options, but I carry my little symbol of shopping acumen with me all the way to the check out line and nochanlantly hand it to the sales clerk who is busy returning merchandise to shelves. By 5:40 am we are off to the -Evil Empire- run by homosexuals who hate the Salvation Army -Target. (I learned so much about retail politics at Thanksgiving dinner where opposing talk radio addicts clashed over pie-another glass of wine anyone? Thanks I'll take two.) The local tv station was filming the melee, which had dissipated considerably, at the big red. We paused long enough to watch and remember that we had yet to ingest any caffeine. So, leave the carts and walk through the mall to the local coffee shop kiosk. There was a line, not bad by Black Friday standards, but a line none the less. The poor barista was working furiously but the wait exceeded corporate's "2 minute wait to service" standard. Poor girl. "1/2 caf, skinny double whip fa la latte for Beelzebub- please come again...soon. By "soon" she was already shuffling through the next drink so it came out in "@#$% I just burned my hand on that groupa again angst 'soon'" I wanted to jump behind the counter and give her a hand- I was a mighty efficient barista in my day-although don't ask me for a cap-I can't make foam. Drinks in hand we headed back to Target, and had to find new carts-talk about effeciency. I left at 4:30 am and arrived home at 11:30 a.m. summary-shop, shop, shop. Four stores, lot's of money and lot's of fun with neighbor, promises to make this a tradition. By noon the snow was falling in buckets and blusters threatening the longest standing trifamily tradition-Christmas Tree Friday. We drive to a little tree farm about 45 minutes north or south (two farms owned by the same family) and cut our own tree. With trepidation we head out and weigh our options; we could go to IKEA, but that means not cutting the tree ourselves, we could go Saturday and aaaaagggghhhh break the Tradition! We were ready to turn back for the Saturday option but Hyphen Girl began to cry. Why do daughter's tears have such an effect on dads? We kept driving. Almost lost it on the road a few times, but nothing life threatening. It was a winter wonderland, complete with horse drawn sleigh rides with "Blue Blocker, whiskey flasked, Santa" candy canes and a petting zoo (2 guinea pigs and a chiken with chicks) we cut the tree, sang songs and had a merry time. When it comes time to strapping the tree to the roof, we have it down to a science, thankful for my girl scout knot training and Trihubby's ability to hoist the thing to the roof in one sweeping motion. Never lost a tree yet on the "test highway frontage road". Stopped for lights and a snack on the way home to Thanksgiving leftovers.

Thanksgiving leftovers. What a great challenge, to be so full of Thanksgivings that there are always leftovers the next day.

More tomorrow-I think. Biked 60 minutes at high rpm (whatever that means) swim run brick today.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

holy buckets, it's Saturday

You would think by my constant lack of consistency that I don't like to blog-fact is, I'm blogging all the time in my head. As I zip along through my days numerous things cross my mind that should be archived into print. It's not a lack of material, it's a lack of time. So, in brief, Thanksgiving was great-we started the day with the Arena 5K-this would be my 11th running and Hyphen Girls first Turkey trot. Unfortunately for her, the normal temp hovers around 35 degrees-this morning we woke to a blustrey 9 with a 0 wind chill. For those of you in the balmy states-that is cold, but not yet damn cold. We save damn for when Hell freezes over and dumps the waste on our front lawn. But it is cold when you are going out to run your first Turkey Trot.

The race begins at the home of the wayward T Wolves and chugs down Hennepin Ave, across the Mississippi-I can no longer feel my nose or cheeks-River, winds east a few blocks and then returns on the Third Avenune-my feet feel like I've just T2'd-bridge. At mile 2.1 HG is getting ear aches from the cold wind, so I do what any mom that was determined to get her daughter to the finish line would do, I stripped down to my jog bra, pulling off my hoodie, give her the hoodie and get her ears tightly covered and throw my shirt back on. I thought about finishing the race in my jog bra with these guys, but I had dinner to cook and I couldn't get sick. The final mile winds past the Humpty Dome and heads back to the Target Center. As we passed the dome the regular refrain from HG was, "I'm thirsty, where is the water stop?" There are no water stops. "But I'm thirsty" That's because you're overheating in my hoodie and my mammary glands are frozen so keep moving! Needless to say we walked a total of 3 times for about 10 steps and finished in 32:XX-a 16 minute improvement over the summer 5K. I think it helped immensely that once we returned to Hennepin Ave and could see the finish HG broke into weird running movie fanatasy and kicked it home. Of course I was very proud of her-she ran a good race.

For my part, this was the first race I've run since signing up for IMFL. I can just begin to feel Florida now. As the voice of the race talked the runners through the pre run rituals, make your way to the starting line, etc I could sense Florida. There are a lot of races and training before next November, but I'm starting to feel Florida-and it feels good. I can't feel my fingers or toes but what are going to do?

Did a 2500 swim-20 min 2.4 mile run and core blitz this am with Trihubby.

Tomorrow- The Walmart .5K, the hunt for Christmas in a blizzard and a few more Thanksgiving items.

Monday, November 21, 2005

I'd like to teach the world to sing

and then again, maybe not. I have this rare talent for memorizing show tunes as they unfold in a movie and recently have been singing the little diddy sung by Steve Martin and Martin Short in "The Three Amigos". Chevy Chase banged out the tune on the little buttercup (note, note) has the sweetest smile, do do do do do de do, and on it goes. I wouldn't mind the tune with the exception that I find it irksome to know a song I've heard once 20 years ago. That movie came out the year I graduated from high school. Add that to the list of reasons for doing an Ironman. I moved my senior year of high school, so I've never made an issue of reunions etc. My best friend died of a brain tumor before the five year, his funeral was reunion enough. Funny how songs can drive thoughts. Three days before we left for different universities this friend asked me to marry him. I turned him down-then and on three other occasions. We were like two peas in a pod, and I loved him, but we wouldn't have made for a good marriage-call it instinct. I would have been a 21 year old widow-makes me thankful for instinct.

So, what are you doing now? Well I'm training for an Ironman in November. And I can sing old, obscure songs.

As long as I can remember I've generally had a song of some kind meandering through my head-a song for every occasion-and it drives my kids nuts. ("I'm turning Japanese"-in case you're wondering and I have no idea what "turning Japanese and going nuts have in common other than that the song has a frenetic pace.)What exactly do they mean anyhow? And what exactly were Hyphen Girl and Soapinator thinking while I was away? Yellow isn't your brother's color! They have to act out their torment somewhere...Christmas is coming...BUT NOT YET!!!!!!!!!

We have a Christmas moratorium in efffect-the official first day of Christmas is the Friday following Thanksgiving-until 12:01 a.m. there is no music, no lights, no candy, no Christmas. I have to stand tough in my resolve against the unrelenting barage of requests for Christmas music-but I will stand firm-there is more to this iron training than just swim/bike/run you know.

Link to story

Kahuna story

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Shifting gears

I had a different post in mind for today, but then I read
Kahuna's piece on the LA Times front page. An incredibly tragic story that needs to be read and discussed by serious people. Allowing these stories to be told brings hope for those who were victimized because they have been believed, finally. If you are a praying person, pray for them that they can find the distinction between good and evil and know that a man is not "of God" by virtue of what he puts on, but by virtue of what he does. What that so called minister did was evil, but God can and often does turn those things for good.

If anyone knows of a good way to lend financial assistance to those villages, please leave me a link in comments.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Full moon, shopping etc

Tridaddy is an amateur photographer (aren't we all to some degree or another) and he enjoys taking pictures of the moon.
Now if I can just get him to focus on the right one, I might actually get my "4 phases" photos that I want to frame for the living room. (did I say amatuer, or immature?)

If you think that's a little too racy, imagine my surprise when I clicked on my

Bolder site only to discover that while P. Dawg was away this summer some perverse little blogophile took over his original site. I kept his link in my sidebar to remember to pray for him and now he's back-with a new blog name. I'll make the changes asap. While I'm at it, I plan to add more links to my side bar-if you want a feature in the link field email me your site. It takes me about a day to do one when I have to cut and paste-since this paste has no taste, it's no fun.

Speaking of eating paste, my training yesterday had zero effect on an Ironman outcome, other than sheer mental endurance. Come along for the ride:

8:10 shuttle to E1 with Kid 2, 3-drop off
8:35 home-take care of K1 who is home with stomach flu. Haul wood, build fire, do dishes, fold 4 loads laundry and add to previous 12 loads, sweep floors, clean bathroom
10:35 feed K4, K1 still feels sick
11:00 shuttle K4 to E2-drop off
11:30 arrive back at E1 for recess duty. Temp 17, windchill minus 8. Windchill only counts when you're in the wind, short straw me, I walk the soccer field and woods, I get wind chill. We had ice, so body sliding across the infield is sport of choice.
1:15 return to car-can't feel my fingers, nose, or toes-isn't it January yet? A day wrapped in tinfoil on the equator sounds nice right now.
1:30 stop by home, check on K1 barf status-no barf, still sick
1:35 arrive back at E2 to help paint hand turkeys. What is a Thanksgiving without hand turkeys. Sorry craft did not entail paste, no snack today kids. However I did fianlly peg that detail that has itched at the back of my mind-that smell what is it? It's gas. Why do kindergarten rooms always smell post digestive? Social graces must be taught in first grade.
2:35 hands clean off to grocery store. If you buy 3 pre formed dinner rolls in a can you get a pound of butter free. We don't eat canned preformed dinner rolls, but grandpa shopper convinced me you can't pass up a free pound of butter. Rolls anyone?
3:10 return home-nurse K1 with gingerale, throw bags on kitchen floor
3:20 p/u K4 at bus stop
3:30 return to E1 p/u K2 and K3 plus friend
4:00 make a move rush hour driving-arrive in downtown, drop off friend K3 and K4
4:30 more make a move, travel with K2 to furniture store #12 to look yet again for chairs. Overturned crates are starting to appeal right now.
5:00 "If someone scares you 1/2 to death are you really dead?"
5:01 No, you're still 1/2 alive. You only die when you are scared to death.
5:05 Third grade philosophy lesson ends.
6:05 After working with super great leather sales person, encounter woeful "other" chair salesperson. Other salesperson is in midlife crisis with new puppy, new boyfriend, new home...................
6:20 Finally-she breathes. I need a new chair.
6:22 "I need a new chair too..................finances..........not meeting sales quotas..........
6:30 breaking back to helpful leather salesperson
7:30 Hallelujah! Hallelujah! (no disrespect intended towards Handel) Shopping finally accomplished!
7:45 Stop at wine store thankful there is a "q" in liquor or the alphabet game might have ended poorly. "V" vodka, "Z" zinfandel and we're out the door.
8:00 home at last.
8:10 the stale cookie at furniture store did not equate to satisfying dinner-stoke fire, make soft tacos, open wine
8:30 tuck K1,2,3,4 into bed
9:00 good night

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Hibernating sucks!

My food compulsion has reached big fat squirrel proportions so I'm going Kashi. If you wnat to talk colon clensing and buttcamp Susan can direct you. Kashi GoLean has a rotor rooter like effect but only after it's hot air balloon effect. After about three days you are back to normal, and it normally curbs my hunger and I direct my eating more than my impulses direct my eating.

It is a frigid 19 degrees right now with 30-40 mph sustained gusts-Mn kids learn to factor windchill in preschool. We got a smattering of snow, an insult in the face of predicted 6-8 inches, but we got cold. It's suppose to warm up next week for Thanksgiving, just in time for the "run a 5K with 10,000 other people through the crowded streets of Minneapolis on Thanksgiving morning" run aka Arean 5k. This will be my 11th running of the Turkey and Hyphen Girl is going in and doing the race this year. I used to feel like a a 5k was license to stuff myself silly later in the day, now it's just a warm up. If I didn't have to make the turkey I'd be tempted to run into downtown, then do the race. If I got up at 5, I could do that. Now we're talking seconds!

I have recess duty today-I am going to die. I have almost no insulation left, I'm freezing all the time-time to paint on that permanant long underware-added incentive for poor Tridaddy to take me to Arizona in January-the promise of skin :)

Going downstairs to go dig out the snow pants, boots, mittens etc

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Baby on board

No, no, no, I'm not pregnant-we've been through that already, don't need to go there again. It's just that all this excitement about t-shirts for
training and Iron inspiration tripped my brain over to those t-shirts that pregnant woman wear-baby with a large arrow pointing to their stomach. I like the male version better: "Beer" with a large arrow pointing to their stomach. At any rate, for the love of google, I entered b.o.b. into the search engine and was instantly directed to a web store featuring a wide array of b.o.b. wear. Fear not oh buxom male friends, there is a "baby on board" t-shirt for you, which begs the question, did the site designers pay any attention at all to the slogan they were plastering on every soft piece of merchandise they were selling? Given this one, I tend to think not. Although I could see some frat boy having a great time at a party sporting these. Perhaps not. I suppose if you are on a quest for a one nighter it's better not to advertise consequence on your shorts. My suspicion of ineptitude was confirmed by this final offering:
A thong!?! They expect a pregnant woman to wear a thong? Then I was reminded of the humor that got me to b.o.b in the first place. Wil has a shirt with "The Top 10 Reasons I Tri" and it made me want a b.o.b shirt with a top 10 reasons I'm "bob-ing"

10) The vikes were losing 42-3 at half time

9) Birth control in Wisconsin? Fishing/bow/firearm/duck, opener. Which explains the lack thereof within a 50 mile radius of that little cabin in the woods.

8) Antibiotics v BC = blue dot on the ept

7) Valentine's day

So, you get the picture, and for some reason this just made me laugh. I suspect my brain was still frozen from the run. I really need to get some UnderArmor.

7 strong miles. The kind that make you glad to be a runner. Today is a staff meeting at work, so it's a swim day as well.

Have a good one,

Monday, November 14, 2005

biking and on

Friday was a beautiful 65 degrees so I had to get out and bike-how great to be outside biking on Nov 11th. If you don't live in a cold weather state this makes no sense-there is a forecast for 5-7 inches of snow tomorrow so the rest of the season will be spin city (wasn't that a television show at some point)

I urge my fellow athletes to check out this site. There is a couple of great articles on training in the offseason. I'm realizing I don't want to spend a lot of mental energy to train right now, I'm basically keeping consistent, lifting weights as often as I can and not getting too worried about anything but the basics. I have a year to be intense, I just think it might get old or difficult to stay at a race training intensity for that long. I have my plan in place and it doesn't call for major "oh my gosh" training until late April. I have some parameters and goals to keep me honest, Chang's Marathon for instance, so I won't be going back to ground zero by any means. My plan is to keep up my endurance but to build a lot of strength in this off season. Did you happen to see the muscle mass and balance of Sarah R-the one legged Ironman from Kona. Having muscle envy right now. This picture doesn't do justice to the live images from Saturday's airing of Kona. I want to be a strong, steady athlete. That is the goal, and on that note, I need to go out and run for an hour. It's cold here-I don't really want to go, ask me again in 20 minutes when I've warmed up :)

I need a run, school conferences are tonight.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Lara Croft?!?!?

I didFlatman's super hero quiz. I'm Lara Croft? I haven't read the comic nor seen the movie, so I have some homework before I comment. Maybe I'm hung up on the Angelina Jolie aspect. Although, she has adopted 2 kids which puts her far above the rest of Hollywood in my book. The funniest question in the quiz was the one about liking tight fitting outfits. Can you tri and not like skin tight?

Vertical Man has me second guessing this a little (read down a few posts to his 10K race report) I had no idea my booty could be a carrot-albeit it would have to be a very hungry mule- see now I want to say ...hungry mule or ass. But I've come to realize a man is not an ass for looking (I say in tribute to finally growing out of my youthful 20 year old college feminist thinking), any more than a man is a tyrant for holding a door open for me. My goodness that education was destructive.

I'm going to stop for now, because on one hand a humourous post about guidelines for carrots is developing in my head, along the lines of tight fitting pink spandex, and on the other hand my philosophical, Lara Croft, brain needs to be quick to listen and slow to speak and slower to write about things I haven't thought through first.


Tuesday, November 08, 2005

I need to get me some colon cleansing

You have about 15 pounds of rotting waste in your colon. If you got rid of that you could race faster.

It was health fair day at work again. This time we set up camp next to the Chiropractors. I'm a sucker for a massage, so I wandered over. The doc I talked with had recently returned from a spa in Thailand with the sole intent of some colon cleansing. Now forgive me if I was laughing hysterically on the inside, couldn't shake the image of Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor. I'm all for exotic locales, but 7 days of self administered enemas so as to detoxify my colon, I don't think so. Isn't that why god made fiber? I've been looking for a good chiro for trihubby, so I inquired into his expertise in sports medicine. He assured me he had abundant knowledge and had recently treated a number of marathoners. "You just need to be thoughtful when you go out and run 24 miles from ground zero in your late 20's" Nice guess (I think gently). I'm 37 and a marathon is 26.2. I'm not a running snob, but I do expect a self proclaimed expert to know the basics. They packed up and left early so I never got my chair massage. I had to recruit Standing Long Jump to roll my neck. I bribe him with a "get out of jail free" card. It allows him a pass on any job I ask him to do. Hyphen Girl was beaning me with cheerios the entire time. I guess that counts for exfoliation treatment. Who needs Thailand?

Now on to the delicate question. I've been loading up the hours on the bike and let's just say that makes for some agony in the swimsuit region. What is "butt butter" and is it a cousin to udder balm? Does it work? I am also on the standard issue bike seat, would my gel seat feel better and irritate less?

And the not so delicate question: how can I compute my distance travelled on the trainer? I'm on a Cyclops fluid trainer with no built in mechanism to measure. Does it work to put the bike computer on the back tire, or is there a thing to buy to attach? I'm just doing time right now, but I am curious how fast and far I'm traveling. Thanks.

Sorry, I like global warming

I mowed the lawn in a short sleeve shirt today. Got the rest of the leaves raked and the last of the fertilizer down as well. Tomorrow, I bike. How often do we get to say that the first week of November in Minnesota? My new training program includes a M,W, F swim. It's not a good sign when you miss the first swim of a new training program. I should know better than to implement a new program on a "no school" day which also corresponds with tri hubby's final vacation day and final day of reinventing the basement. Our basement has been a sort of catch everything that is thrown to the bottom of the stairs container since we moved into this house almost 8 years ago. The prior occupant had painted the walls and thrown down some cheap carpet so as to call it "finished" for the sale. He neglected to mention that there were no functioning lights in the "finished" area. One outlet exploded when we plugged a fan into it. So, you might say the wiring needed to be updated. We hauled everything out, stripped er to the bones, re wired, trimmed the new egress windows and gave her a fresh coat of paint. All that's left is to lay the wood flooring. Tri hubby has become quite handy around the house over the years. He's had to because I just keep knocking holes into things. When we first moved in the bathroom was whorehouse ugly. My imagination was not helped with the knowledge that the prior owner had rented the place to prostitutes and crack pushers. So, a month after buying the place tri hubby returned home on a Saturday morning to find the walls of the bathroom on the back lawn. He wasn't very happy. Particularly because he wanted to take a shower. It also didn't help that behind the moulded shower insert I discovered a perfect frame for a window. "We can't have a window in the shower" We can have a glass block window. "We don't know how to install glass block" I know how to do it. At that point it didn't seem like such a good idea to tell him my knowledge consisted of watching my neighbor lay a brick fireplace threshold. Window, threshold, it's just brick and mortar-we can do it. Off to Home Depot-you can fix it, we can help. Well they weren't there at 2 in the morning when the final brick was set in place, but the window is still there. Yea me. So, over the years I make holes and he fixes them. Tri hubby likes wiring. We tore out the false ceiling and left the beams exposed. They look really great painted and give several inches of height to the room. He wired cans into the rafters. I'm not sure if it's overkill, meaning the number of cans installed, but the floor above now vibrates like a nuclear reactor when the lights are on downstairs. Dimmer switches are good. The two greatest things about the new great room: "kids go play downstairs" and a designated training area. I'll post pics of the bike and trainer later.

The boys have been having a great time helping dad, Buck Naked Boy in particular. Yesterday he was having fight #1,817,324 with brother so Trihubby called him over to talk to him. Do you want to go work in the basement? This was meant as a threat of punishment. Yea!!!! All excitement and jumps. I guess that didn't work.

I noticed a cluster of small red dots on Standing Long Jump yesterday, right at his waistline. I've had those before from when I demo'd all of the windows. It has the appearance of a spider getting trapped and biting a half dozen times in an effort to escape. We figure he got them working downstairs. We've always had a lot of spiders in the basement. They lay these little white egg sacks, and we discovered dozens of them when we pulled the rafters down. Out comes the shop vac and now the arachnids are plotting our destruction from the confines of dust and worksite debris. "I can see how SLJ got the spider bite" Trihubby informs me. "There were all those spiders and nests, the spiders are gone now, they must have migrated upstairs" Which explains why it's 3 in the morning and I can't sleep. I knew I should never have watched Aracniphobia.


Monday, November 07, 2005

No buyers remorse

IMFL '06 sold out in less than 3 hours. My morning began at 4 am with a terrible dream whereby I couldn't get my computer to work and I couldn't find the registration page. While I'm remarkably low key about the race (read confident, not unenthusiastic) my dreams bear out the thing I fear most-not getting a chance to dance at all. As I've mentioned, I missed the two biggest sporting events in my life by circumstance and stubborness. Not this one. I registered at 9:03 cst. I paused long enough to read the tome of a waiver-humourous writing at times- and cruise controlled through the quesions. No second thoughts.

Until I got on the treadmill for my first official "in training" workout. Then my mind began to review the questions I'd answered.

Occupation: Homemaker, domestic diva, stay at home mom, however you break it down, average. Who the hell am I to think I should even think about trying an Ironman? (Well, with the kids in school I do probably have more time than any of you to train, at least through the school year-next summer is a different story)

Significant triathlon accomplishments: Who the f*$@ing hell do I think I am signing up for an ironman? I've completed a grand total of 3 sprints and 1 almost olympic distance tri for a grand cumulative total of 6:24 of competition.

Insert string of expletives that commercial grade bleach could not clean from the walls of my mouth.

So, I cranked the 'mill to 6:18 m/miles and let this thinking run it's course. I despise swearing. I loathe the f word. Not in the puritan sense where I cringe around others who swear. I despise the swearing that cascades from my own brain. When I swear, it's not me. It's my s.o.b. of an old man who considered me a cheap f@*#ing whore and went to great pains to prove his point. He hated me and would consider it a crowning achievement to kill me, god knows he tried on more occasions than my memory banks can store.

Have you overcome any significant hurdles to prepare for this event? Hell yes. or Hell. yes.

There are days I struggle to understand why I'm still alive. (my kids, hubby and friends notwithstanding-this is internal me)

Not on race days. On race days I feel absolutely alive.

If a sprint can do that for a person, what an amazing gift an Ironman might be.

A gift from a Father who is I Am, who took over from the one who was not.

Erik Liddel was a Scot, an incredibly principled man, an amazing runner and a missionary. "Chariots of Fire" told his story of Olympic glory. The best line in the movie is when he is explaining his motivation to run to his sister who was indignant that he would allow running to intefer with his work at the mission in China. "God created me to run, and when I run, I feel his pleasure." To feel that pleasure is priceless. 140.6 miles of priceless. So, I'm going to name my new tri bike "Liddle Dream"

Dream big my friends, the team's going to Florida!!