Thursday, June 30, 2005
Open Water swim is now 37 hours away, but hurrah the 4-5 inches of rain over the past days have pushed the lake temp well into wet suit range. I've decided it is faster to wear the wet suit with the team uni swag underneath than to do the swim suit and put uni on after the swim. Plus wetsuits guarantee I won't die on the swim. This is good because the dang (I can't swear here because hyphen girl and pop in law peak in on occasion) health insurance company called today to say that as of tomorrow tridaddy and I no longer have insurance coverage-thanks for the advance notice. Don't ask, it's a long story. Applied to an already fried psyche I am not a very pleasant person right now. Thank God for introversion, the kids never have to deal with my pissy moments. Rope it in and channel it out on the race course.
Tridaddy dubbed my exorcist workouts "chasing the white rabbit" It had something to do with the 13:15 2 miler while wearing my white running clothes, I think. Welcome to friggin wonderland.
I'm feeling that old aggressive competitive nature brewing, which can be a good thing if it just compells your performance. I could be a real jerk playing ball with that monster before when winning at any cost was the goal. I thought that beast was dead, turns out only sleeping. Tri training woke it up and now it's time to tame the Hydra.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
It has the largest prize purse of any tri. It is the quintessential battle of the sexes. It draws pros from around the world, including the top six 2004 olympians. So of course, it has to include TRIMAMA! How awesome is this? I will be dispensing my wealth of tri knowledge to the fledgling newbies at the Expo on Friday and in the transition area Saturday morning. Imagine me breathing the same air as Olympic Gold! Maybe some of it will wear off. I'm trying to memorize the names and faces of the pros so I don't go up to one and ask, "So, is this your first tri?" Unfortunately the TGK Tri god and goddess are not competing, I was hoping for a promo shot. You'd better believe I'll have my camera though.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
I cat and moused through the day trying to work in a workout. Mother nature prevailed when she started throwing these at the house. Most of the hail were marble to quarter size, but this one and several more like it would probably have dented my ANSI certified helmet.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
I just checked the list of participants for my race Saturday, there are only 16 people in my division. Somehow that is worse than a race with 200 similar athletes. We scouted the race this past Saturday. Yes we are so geeked that we use our date nights to scout and prepare for races.
All right, tridaddy is reading over my shoulder and saw the 16 and exclaimed, "16! You'd better break the top ten!"
No pressure there. We were speculating tonight that we would both like to finish in the top 20, I guess we have that one in the bag.
Perhaps we should revise our goals.
I picked up Frankenbike from the local bike shop, they did a sweet job on her although the sales guy did point out that Mr. Bianchi would be rolling in his grave if he saw one of his seats on a Nishiki. It's all about global market now though, so RIP I say.
I used her on my training run. Oh the joy of acceleration! I need to reconsider the name as "gila monster" no longer seems adequate. Although if I dump it will be more like "Hell 'a monster" I'm a little timid on the bike, so we'll see how it goes.
Congrats to Kahuna and Iron Wil on their great races!
A little overshare here, but aunt flo is due to visit, I can tell because I'm feeling slightly homicidal. Standing Long Jump asked me tonight how I make my eyeballs spin in my head like that. Estrogen my dear son, estrogen. It was a good night for Nemo to baby sit (oh the shame) and sit on the front lawn with a cold beer (lite of course, I am in training)
Time to go, I need to post the names and stats of the OTHER 15 in my bike helmet, on the fridge, in the bathroom, on my arm... oh wait that might be a little over the top. (Who knows what hormone that is)
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Why don't you try that one?
Queried Hyphen girl as she watched me browse for races.
That's the "Tour De France" honey.
I know. You should try it.
Oh how to explain?
Well honey, France for all it's so called progressive thinking does not allow women to enter their premier racing venue.
Nah, don't want to use that answer, she's almost 12 and I want her to continue to believe she can do anything she sets her mind to, even an all male bike race. However, I don't want her to spend the next several days trying to configure a way to qualify for the Tour, which would be her wont.
The tour is a multi stage venue which covers hundreds of miles, I haven't really trained for that.
You could do it mom.
Well now, I can't squash that enthusiasm. Besides, I like to foster the idea for her that I can do anything I set my mind to, even the grueling miles of the tour.
It takes place over a couple of weeks and it's all the way over in Europe, I'd miss you guys and I'd get homesick.
Bingo. She leaves for her first overnight summer camp Sunday and is worried about homesickness.
Oh, ok that makes sense.
Tweeners, you just have to connect at their level. I'm going to miss her.
Speed week ends for me today and I had some good work in the pool and on the track. A few LSD workouts this coming week and my next big race coming up Saturday. An inagural sprint race- does the word inagural bother anyone else?
And yes I know the pic below is not sized to fit the page. I love Flickr! and I hate Flickr! I can't figure out how to resize to fit-sorry all you who know what your doing, this is going to drive you nuts.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
In a previous post Trimama squared admonished us not to covet our neighbor's house, his wife, her finishing medal nor his ass. I mournfully confessed I covet Stenslands ass, and I stand absolved. Confession is good for the soul, therefore, I also covet Kahuna's ass. Not his maximus but his Madone-us. My slow growth fund for a road bike is well, slow. So in the interim I am frankensteining a Nishiki pawn shop find to gain more teeth -sorry "Will da Beast".
I went to my local bike shop yesterday and happened upon a curious thing.
The last toll of the school bell summons a cache of monochromatic t shirted crumbcrunchers to every local pool, park and play place. Kid camp staffers suffer a quirky notion that similarly clad urchins will sequester like geese in flight. The valium deprived screeches of where is Jimmy defy the theory. I've attempted to color coordinate one or two of my munchkins on occasion in hopes that at least one will be transported away for at least a short while. But alas, they do role call and I've had to retrieve the red faced yute from the bus.
The store next to the bike shop is a little house of horrors they like to call the Ax Man. It's "My Local Hardware" on qualudes. A truly bizarre surplus store.
As I pulled frankenbike from the minivan a school bus pulled into the lot. Oh, the bus driver has some time between routes, how nice he can run some errands.
Off the bus came the monochromes and their intrepid and similarly clad teen leader.
They're not going into The House of Ax Man Horrors"?
Hum. Well I guess field trips need to take on all sorts of dimensions. Here's a little preview of what the urchins encountered.
Soon to be seen at all retail locations.
So I got these great masks instead. You get used to the burning sensation in your eyes after awhile.
He comes to life when the store closes it's doors-but he can't get down from the parachute-so he's stuck...he's entered the twilight zone
Mommy they took us to a store and there were heads and they were staring at me and shrieks.....
Well I ran my first open water tri the beginning of June, and I got a little exhuberant at the finish line, threw my arms up in the air and whooped a little. What can I say, I'm a transplanted Coloradoan who bleeds Bronco orange. (Unlike the Cleveland Browns and the Vikings we know how to celebrate.) I live in the land of 10,000 impossibly stoic scandanavians. There's not a whoop in them.
My HS football team won the state tourny in '86 and I was at the game. We flatten the running back in the back field and I'm on my feet...whooping of course. Pausing to breathe I'm overwhelmed by that "I was just talking about the boss and he's standing right behind me isn't he?" feeling.
A few seats to each side mouths agape, eyes wide. Their neighbors politely clapping in their seats. "dat a wus a gooda hit now wasn't it?" "jah ita was" It wouldn't be polite to stand up now, the people behind us couldn't see. What would happen if we all did that?
ummm we'd all be cheering then.
"But the sign hasn't told us to stand up and make some noise."
I left the student section and sat with the visiting team.
I whooped at the finish line, it so startled the race photographer he snapped my photo. Commence the Brent Spiner ID4 moments. "Do you want to see one?"
Race web site, front page local paper and aaaggghhhh!! taped to the counter of Gear West Bike shop. Personally I think I should get a little sponsorship ching, at least a free gel pack or something.
Irony, I hate having my picture taken, let alone posted for the world to see- but I guess as my Trimama fame spreads I'll have to get used to it. aaggghhhh!!!
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Dang and dang and dang again. I was looking for races and happened upon a race that actually said this. Now, I can't find the race so I can't link (not that I've figured out linking yet anyhow-I'm working on that)
We're sorry to interrupt this program, be back in a few minutes
Ok, had to make a pancake for buck naked boy (4) and soapinator (8). We made the biggest pancake ever, bigger than both of their heads combined and now they both look like Templeton the rat returning from the county fair.
So I showed that race to tridaddy and we actually debated the merits of swimming in a life jacket. We surmised that wet suits offer adequate buoyancy and that a life jacket might be a bit cumbersome.
After yesterday's post my tri trepidation seems almost foolish, particularly after reading Commodore's post on training and racing. Racing is training-just a touch more expensive :) (The life jacket tri was only $20. My guess life jackets=no life guards on the swim portion)
So, I am going to train hard, swim my best and cross that finish line. "Don't look back" were tridaddy's parting words as he left for work this morning.
"I looked back at Buffalo. All you see is the next wave charging towards you in the water so you feel trapped. Don't look back"
It got him out of the water though-but I prefer to focus on the finish line.
swim run day today- have a great one
Monday, June 20, 2005
Up at 5:00 today-it's bike-swim-bike brick day. It was an incredibly putsy start, and not just because it was early. I've noticed that my training has regressed back to workout thinking. So, I went meta-cognitive on the bike ride. It couldn't be helped, the MP3 died at a 1/4 mile-so no distractions. Just thinking about what I am thinking.
I began multisport training in January. I had a goal, I wanted to compete in a triathlon-not just complete-but compete.
I trained with intensity, as if some dark menace was chasing me from behind. Now, I've crossed two finish lines because failure and "just give up you idiot" didn't catch me. I no longer fear what lies behind, I can slay that dragon with the knowledge that I can do it because I did, twice. What I fear now is what lies ahead. Namely, Incompetent swimming moron lake. Well I think it's actually called Turtle Lake, (oh the irony isn't lost there), and it's the first leg of the next tri I am supposed to do. I haven't registered yet, because frankly, I don't want to swim again. My first tri had a pool swim and the entire race unfolded precisely as it had in training. The second tri was my first lake swim. I approached the race with the idea of managing the swim, giving my all on the bike and burning out the run. I simply wanted a clean swim, what I got was a strange morphing of every conceivable stroke. I lost my edge as soon as I started stroking-forget competing, just get out of this water. Refocus, swim well for awhile, panick, sidestroke blah blah. I left the water that day and was thrilled to finish the race. I think my confidence to race is still floating in the silt out there in Buffalo. I don't want to dissappoint myself like that again. I like being able to do what I think I am able to do. How odd, I thought "I can't" or "you can't" would be the greatest obstacle-turns out "I won't" is an ominous beast as well.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
"You can't wear black"
Hyphen girl was watching me dress Sunday morning, Father's Day.
"Black is depressing and sad, like for funerals. You need to wear color today, it's a happy day."
Treading lightly now with the newly informed in all things procreation and "yes honey it really does feel good" and "no it's not icky, but I understand why you feel that way"
"Dad likes when I wear this dress, and it is Father's day"
(yes it's the little black dress that accentuates long legs, hips and well all things pleasing to tridaddy-that says meet me on the front porch for a glass of wine when the kids are in bed)
"But it's blaaaaccckkk."
"Mommy you look beautiful"
That's my boy. Standing Long Jump (SLJ), the consummate ladies man, enters the conversation. He gives me a hug and we're off to church.
It was a good day to honor Tridaddy and Grandpa. Happy Father's Day to my fellow paternal geeks.
I can't and I won't are accessories we are born with, I can and I will are gifts from our parents, friends, coaches and fellow geeks.
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Back to the pool yesterday-I love the pool. I love that feeling you get when your muscles are warm and then all of a sudden swimming is effortless, glide, glide, glide. Oddly, I find myself blogging in my mind as I swim. I journal into my computer, so I am used to dumping the contents of my brain on the keyboard. So, I stroke along, fingers flying, arms spinning, mental harddrive recording, yards passing. I write in my brain during most of the swim. Now if only I can find a cable to attach to my brain so I can upload. Hypen girl (my 12 year old) sat on the pool deck reading and listening to my MP3 while I swam. Every so often I would break, take a drink of water and say hi. "Mom, you're not swimming fast enough. It takes you almost a minute to go down and back-I'm timing you." Thanks coach. She swims 50 in 38 seconds for swim meets. "I'm swimming a mile, so I take a slower pace". Jaw drop. "a mile?" Vindicated.
We went to the indoor track to run next. A funhouse of training insanity. It takes 18 loops for a mile-the corners thankfully are banked. It's a little like small town stock car racing-accelerate, corner, accelerate, corner, roar past the crowd-well ok the men playing bball on the gym down below. Hyphen girl (HG) joined me for the first mile. A 7:50 mile in gym class this spring, she is confident in striding alongside. We complete lap 18 and stop for water, and she goes to sit down. We aren't done yet, you have to run another mile with me. I can't run 2 miles, I only run the mile. It's time to push that and run 2. (She wants to run a 5k with me this summer because it is part of a parade in MPLS) We slowed the pace and chatted until lap 9.
Then she stopped. "I can't do this." "Yes you can, just keep moving foward"
"I can't run anymore" "yes you can, you're halfway, just keep moving"
"Everything hurts, I can't"
Parent dilemna. Is this an I can't or I won't. How bad is she hurting? How hard can I push? I can't force her to finish at this point unless I threaten to punish her-and that would be cruel and dispiriting. More encouragement-she's walking now. Honey, I know you can do this. I wouldn't push you if I didn't think you could do it. Just a few more steps, come on.
"No" more tears
I've pushed as hard as seems wise now. "ok, just go sit down and rest and I'll finish my run" I really wanted that to sound merciful but I have a feeling it sounded more like "Fine! just go sit down" Hard to say. At any rate I had only run 20 steps when I hear her running up behind me. I tell her she doesn't have to run-so she runs. go figure.
Lap 13. "I can't do this." "only 5 laps to go, you can do this" "I can't" "Yes you can, just keep moving. "I can't"
At this point the older gentleman we shared the track with puttered past- "If an old man can do it, so can you"
I take her hand and pull a little. She pushes my hand away, but begins to run again. 4 laps to go. 3 laps to go. 2 laps. She walks. "I can't" tears. You have gone 16 laps, there is no way I can let you quit now. She's walking-I'm jogging alongside. "Everything hurts" "If you push through the pain it will be worth it-I promise" 1 lap to go. "C'mon honey you can do it." 3 corners. "Almost done" "I can't, I can't" "look up and see the finish, you are almost there" "I can't, it hurts" "that will make the finish feel that much better" final straightaway. She begins to run a little faster. "that's it, you can do it" Big hug, "You did it, you ran 2 miles!"
Sheepish grin. Inward self congratulatory grin. She ran farther than she had ever run before-but mom had to help- Not a completely foreign event-think homework, but a challenge to her self depiction as an athelete.
She had just set a school record with 5 blue ribbons in 5 events at the spring multi school track meet, including a meet record with her relay team. She is the fastest girl in her class. She placed in the top 3 for the mile run in gym class. By God's grace she runs fast, and her effort alone brings great reward.
Honey, sometimes life is a sprint and you will move forward by virtue of the gifts God gave you. But if you want to run the race that is set before you, the whole long endurance challenge, sometimes you'll have to take the hand of the person running alongside you. You'll need help to get through the difficult, painful times.
But doesn't the finish line feel great!
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
So that's clear.
I also wanted to make it very clear that the Jessi pose was 100% Trimama 2 idea- thanks for the inspiration Nancy!
Integrity counts. So here is my question. There was a race here on Sun and one of my teamates smoked the entire field, including pro men in the swim course. This was a USATF certified course with all the implication for points and nationals. Another teamate who swam the race suggested that a buoy was probably missed as it would be highly unusual for a master's woman to place that high in the swim. Missed buoy-DQ. Simple. But who is responsible to clarify the mistake? The athelete? Of course. What happens when they don't? Who should correct the error? The course judge? The sponsors? The team captain? A fellow Athelete? Me?
What would you do?
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Monday, June 13, 2005
I gave my kids the assignment to come up with their own blog monikers- oh for the days of CB radios again 10-4 good buddy-breaker 19- yes I'm that old.
The 12 y/o of course came up with 7 or 8 possibilities-and wants them all, the 8 year old, who is convinced God meant to make her a horse and accidentally dumped human dust in the mold wants to be called Spirit or Charger or Beauty or etc. The 7 year old drew from his vast athletic experience, 1st grade field day, and wants to be known as "standing long jump" which was the station I monitored-otherwise he might have donned "water relay" as his name and the 4 year old-being the little boy he is wants to be "buck naked boy" of course other body parts and functions followed this suggestion, all met with great giggles by the other siblings. Somehow I don't think booger-wanke is appropriate (wanke being their term for boy privates)
So it's back to the drawing board-more to come on that note.
Finally, Tridaddy also ran yesterday-10.5 miles-the farthest he's ever run- and sweat so hard he broke the speaker on my cell phone he was carrying by sweating into the phone- explain that to the t mobile tech.
Way to go tridaddy!
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Living in the land of 10,000 lakes (yes and taxes and potholes,which I've begun to number on my bike rides) you would think trimama would know how to open water swim. And you would be wrong. Sure I know how to swim back to the boat when I dump skiing, or how to swim out to the diving float but those swims are measured in feet-not yards and miles like triathalon. The wise training sages say you need to work your weakest discipline the most-oh great- so it's back to the lake last night for another training swim-at least I won't get bored for lack of options. Irony, the lake I went to was 42 degrees 6 weeks ago from the subzero winter days, today it is 85 airtemp with about 900% humidity so I brought the kids and their suits and met tridaddy. He was already ploughing his way through the water when I arrived-so every part of me that thought I was going to skip this workout vanished-he has taken on the role of "coach" so if he swims, I swim. As I reluctantly squished into my wet suit (an aside, why does tridaddy look like Batman and I look like an industrial accident at a Michelin factory? ) I watched my kids dive with great enthusiasm into the lake-oh to be young again. As I contemplated how few lengths I could swim and still feel like I worked out I noticed my 8 year old going into the water, dashing out and sprinting down the beach. "Look mommy, I'm racing!" The horror! My little girl transitions faster than me:) I have this internal chip that tells me I need to stay a few steps ahead of them in their acqusition of knowledge and skill-probably foolhardy- none the less- I just mentally doubled my workout and away I go. 400 yards into the swim it occured to me that my race Sunday really dampened my tri confidence-sidestroke is a legal stroke, but not a terribly effecient way to move in yards and miles. Then I noticed, hey, I'm swimming and breathing, and singing-a good sign- 1000 yards later I knew I had taken another step towards Florida-and that felt pretty darn good. Hey look honey, I'm racing too!
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
When you get to the bottom you go back to the top of the slide and you stop and you turn and you go for a ride til you get to the bottom and you see me yea, yea yea yea
do you don't you want me to love you, going down fast now don't let me break you
tell me tell me tell me the answer- ain't no lover but you ain't no dancer
Every so often workouts click like a well oiled machine-you know you're in a groove when U2 begins to play as you hit the bottom of the biggest hill (1 mile climb straight up- switch backs over part for the cars) groove on up-then die. My legs feel like jello when I climb a hill like that. Little hills are like acccelerators-sprint up them and fly along- the term fly here is very relative- but long constant incline- aye caramba I rode 20 miles today intentionally going up every hill I saw until I meandered my way to this beast hill I first encountered in a torchlight parade 4 miler last year-the only race I've ever run that actually made me curse- so I knew it was a good hill- up down-jelly legs at top-cute workmen please don't let me stop and fall off my bike- shoot down the hill and back up again.
It wasn't so helpful the second time around when Gillian Welsch came on the mp3- note to self-folder out of sequence all slow crying songs-
I finished the hills and am rounding the lakes- year round beauty but awesome in the summer- Que onda guera... great Beck song-have no idea what a guera is-hope it's not a swear word because I'm singing out loud. I feel like I ought to loosen the shock system on Beast so I can bounce more-
Now back to car-preschool pick up me hijo and home. Wow I love biking
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Sunday's race was a long stretch of brutal hills one after another. I knew by researching the map and area it would be a little hilly-I was not prepared for a constant incline 1/4-1/2 miles at a time. The average mph for the motp (middle of the packers) was 14-15 mph over 12 miles. Insane! What was trimama and "Will da Beast" to do. Just keep spinning, just keep spinning, cmon beast move...move. Whose will would prevail-trimama or da Beast. Beast wanted to stop-especially when I tried to gain leverage by getting up on my peddles-note to self- higher gear, start when you are actually moving forward-but trimama (of course I need to speak as myself in third person here because something else entirely takes over in these races :)) has a no quit policy-just keep spinning just keep spinning-release that competitive chip and try to pass someone for goodness sake-that's what I'm talking about- keep spinning keep spinning-boom we've crested the hill-beast is snorting and tri mama is mimicking labor breathing- mile 9 down on to mile 10 sheep farm-what is that unholy aroma-mile 11 one last incline- move beast! move! let's get this bad boy over with and get on to that sweet run! Oh this is interesting-lets have an intersection of outgoing runners, incoming bikers and two lanes of traffic cross in the same 5 square feet- weave beast weave-no not into that oncoming car-that would hurt- mile 11 and 1/2 tridaddy passes by on run-Go Batman (he looks like batman in his wet suit-very sexy I might add) get out of the clipless-see biker go down who clipped out and back in (the clip just grabbed back at that cleat-ouch serious road rash for her) turn pedals over to avoid same- cruise into t2 out of my way thee who insist on walking bike to rack- well not really-but I was ready to run! run run run-meet 3 new friends, pass superman the biker-yes- follow blue shorts (the one I'd been chasing through the bike course) 1.5 mile turnaround-chat-make new friend- time to turn and burn-tellnew friend I'll look for you at Castaway! blue shorts 20 ft up, pro athelete #1 just zoomed past-dang-I'm going go catch him- blue shorts 10 ft, 5ft on her heels-forget this I see the finish line- good bye blue shorts thanks for all the inspiration! Sprint break- finishing now #580 That's Tri mama big smiles and whoop whoop for all the volunteers,hang tht medal around my neck, hang my arms around tri daddy's neck we did it we did it!
Well I didn't mean to break into a race report there, I don't know where that came from-except for this- I drove over 100 hills yesterday and with each one I mentally crushed with my bike or in a run-it is time to take training up another notch-it's all hills. For God as my witness I will never fear hills again!!!!
Monday, June 06, 2005
bong bong bong
For who knows for whom the bell tolls, perhaps it tolls for you.
Ok enough drama queen. Here it is: Perhaps it is because he sleeps in the same bed as the newly minted trimama, or perhaps it's insane jealousy of the Kahuna's abs and tight tri body, maybe it was wholesale coveting of trimama's "Get your geek on!" sweat shirt (available at Trigeekdreams.com) for whatever reason, tridaddy decided he better authenticate his name and complete his own triathalon. Since trimama was registered for the Buffalo sprint, it seemed a likely choice to follow. It's my website, so I can tell you he went through that mental hell we have all endured leading up to our first big race. Will I drown? Will I have to take the boat out of the water? Can I really do all 3 disciplines? What the he** am I thinking? The water was projected to be a chilly 65- it was about 70 on shore and about 60 out around the far buoys- so we both went in for wet suits-ok so we won't drown because the darn things are so buoyant. so here are the things we learned from our first real tri:
1) rubber duckys are cute in a bathtub-but sure evil as yardage buoys especially when they are a menacing 3ft tall-ha ha ha I was made to float and bob in this frosty lake-and look you sink when stop-If I'd had a knife I might have gone postal on the one that finally turned us back to shore.
2) Yes you really do get run over and kicked in a tri swim-and that makes it very difficult to catch your breath, but dang if it doesn't feel good to pass people who were in the wave ahead of you.
3)I am not a seal and cold water takes my breath away-sidestroke is a legal stroke
4) a 1/4 mile run up a hill to a transition area in a wetsuit is well-it is what it is.
5) Buffalo is a geographic anomoly whereby you can travel 10 miles up hill and 2 miles down and still arrive back at your transition area- it's a strange thing when most of the field averages only 14-15 mph on the bike leg
6) Mr. #10@@ big shot tri guy- cursing your fellow atheletes is bad karma and is probably why your chain slipped off on that big hill 1/4 mile later
7) volunteers are awesome
8) if your transition pepsi is not properly flattened it will go up your nose
9) clipless shoes will diabolically reclip right outside the transition area and you will have one of those awful 1 mph falls-turn the pedal over when you clip out
10) for runners the run really is the best part-especially when you pass that person you were chasing through the whole bike leg :))
11) There is nothing greater than crossing the finish line!!!!!
12) except looking at the fading body marking the next day- a badge of honor