Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Two cents and two dead.


Flatman has a post which allows you to calculate the value of your blog. Mine is worth two cents, at least that's what I'm giving you each time I write. Actually the test said it was worth $14,XXX, I'm guessing anything with the word tri in it is money in the bank at some point in time.

With that said, I need a logo, a patent and people, I want to have people.

Nobody will want to be my "people" when I relay the worst part of my day. I squashed a squirrel under my tire today. That makes 2 in 2 months. They are either getting slower or I'm getting faster. Both incidents were caused by the squirrel coming out of no where, and not turning back. They've always turned back before. Maybe they've been watching too much Fear Factor. Note to squirrel: the 2000 pound mini van doesn't swerve, it's not personal, it's physics. There is nothing quite as sickening in sound as that of the life being taken from an animal. I've never hit anything with my car before, and if I never hit another animal in my lifetime that would be fine too. Of course, we could all stop swerving. I think they don't turn back because they expect us to swerve. Not swerving throws the timing off. You all need to stop swerving so they can get their timing back.

We watched "The Day After Tomorrow" the other night, because nothing else is going on in the world and it seemed like a good primer for wall to wall hurricane coverage. Cool special effects, decent writing, silly science. Reaffirmed my primary contention in life; if it's all coming down, let me and my family be at ground zero. I know where I'm going, I'll be happy to get there and I see no reason to stick around for the ugly stuff. Yes I'm a wimp. If I'm asked to stay, I'll give what I've got to take care of my family and others around me and we'd survive. I guess being in your 30's with good health allows you to be afraid of having to contemplate your own death. I don't like to have to think about dying when I am busy living. That changes radically with things like cancer and other terminal illness. With those challenges you struggle to hold to the preciousness of life, it's your main weapon in the arsenal against despair. You take each day as a gift you can share with the people around you. I want to live everyday that way. I fail. Often.

This coming Friday we will celebrate life and commemorate death.

Tridaddy's dad, the second greatest man in my life, turns 80-may he live to be 100. The day he dies will be one of the saddest in my life.

One year ago Friday a young man who worked for Tridaddy and who we'd known for 18 or so years (most of his life) took his 50 caliber and ended his life. The very tragedy of suicide is that the person who takes their life never sees the several hundred people who gather at their grave and weep. They never hear the eulogies which exude love and hope for the person who died. Johnny was a college graduate, a licensed pilot, an accomplished guitarist, a college football player, a skilled worker, had a great personality and a warm smile and he had seemingly incurable depression. The hole he left in our lives still hurts, still echoes with why and still wishes we could go back to Oct 27th. If you are a praying person, light a candle for Johnny's family, they could use a little extra light this week.

4 comments:

Wil said...

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear about the suicide - how horrible. You and your family are in our thoughts, something like this is never easy, but you have a way of turning everything into something poignant and meaningful, and that's one of the things that I respect the most about you.

This was particularly moving for me: I guess being in your 30's with good health allows you to be afraid of having to contemplate your own death. I don't like to have to think about dying when I am busy living. That changes radically with things like cancer and other terminal illness. With those challenges you struggle to hold to the preciousness of life, it's your main weapon in the arsenal against despair. You take each day as a gift you can share with the people around you. I want to live everyday that way. I fail. Often.

Don't we all, but very few people have the ability to reflect and renew the way that you do - I think you're quite a leader in that way.

The Clyde said...

Trimama, sorry to hear about that, suicide is never easy.

In college, one of my roommates killed himself 2 weeks before graduation by shooting himself in the head in front of another of my room mates, it was an absolute horrible time in my life. I have been a changed person since that day. From that day forward I told myself never to take life for granted and to try and help out people whenever I can. About a year after that, my brother started showing the same signs as Dave did near the end, except this time I realized how serious the situation could be. I immediately stepped in and got him to seek out help, even going with him the first couple of times, he is now turned around and looks forward to living, his depression is gone. I guess through tragedy good things do come, but loss is always difficult.

My candle will be lit for your friend. I use to not be able to talk about it, but now I feel that if I can get through to one other person by telling my story, maybe someone else realize they are not alone and will seek help or give help to someone else.

Cliff said...

I am really sorry to hear about the suicide. Sometimes it makes us wonder the pain and suffering a person has gone through before they decide to end their own life.

Makes me more reason to become more compassionate to people we know.

mipper said...

so sorry about the suicide. i have a feeling he knows now how loved he was and at least now, he does not suffer, thinking that perhaps he isn't loved. my thoughts will be with you and this young man's family.