If the means by which we measure a man's fortitude is by his (insert favorite_______ eg balls, kahones, etc) what is the true measure of a woman?
a) It's woman's lib, she can have balls if she wants to (which I don't because apparently it brings up a whole other level of underwear concern
b) Utilize an allegorical standard of measure where the gender distinction is fuzzy at best- say WNBA, as in that chick is WNBA X's 5. (what???? Oh, I suppose you think WNBA is sersely rockin hoops.)
c) Format your own scale based on other female anatomical parts. But see, this really doesn't work, as we have already established that falsies sink.
d) Please feel free to add your own (but keep it tasteful, Hyphen Girl and my father in law frequent this site- sorry dad)
NEXT QUESTION
If the measure of a man is validated by his "man" card, which is certainly revoked by the following:
1) Undue adulation of Kelly Clarkson music (music, not the hawt chick herself)
2) Prattling on about dishwashers and coordinated wash utensils
3) Reveling publicly (note public-ly) about the glory of supple underwear
4) Again, feel free to add on..
Then,
How is the measure of a woman validated? In other words, what are the credentials of a chick card?
No multiple choice on this one class, it's blue book time. (For those of you not old enough to recall the era of blue book exams-that means essay)
Text Message, IM and otherwise incomplete prose will be returned without a grade. And yes, spelling counts.
12 comments:
the answer to both questions is symmetry.
it's spelled right, so go ahead missy -- look it up.
the more, the better.
i'd give you even MORE of an explanation, but you lost me on 2)
Not sure on the female card.
But I HAVE been known to say that I just "biked my balls off." To which my hubby looks at me very strangely.
Just can't think of a female equivalent!
Hmmm, well, I haven't got this completely formulated, but it has something to do with how long she can stay in the saddle. Maybe I better not work on formulating it any further.
I guess A. I don't currently have enough fortitude to qualify, so I'm not sure what I'll need to get there. I'll let you know when it happens.
For question #2, I'd have to go with- who cares. Even if I don't measure up to someone's standard, no one can take the card away and make me something else. I know that for me, standing at the start line of my first tri I kept saying to myself- I've gone through natural childbirth twice, I can handle a sprint triathlon. Not that women who don't give birth aren't deserving of a female card for any number of other reasons, but I know my body can do some pretty cool stuff.
How about "that woman has a lot of GUTS"? At least it isn't sexual...or refer to woman's lib.
I don't want any dangling particples, boobs included. (Just enough).
And is participle even spelled correctly?
First off, you were extremely on point by calling it a "Chick Card" and not a "woman's card" which is much more refined standard. You asking for a comparitive card to a Man Card, and there is no Man Card comparision to a Womans Card, anotomacially speaking it would be a Gay Card equivilant.
To qualify for a chick card you must be able to establish the following credintials.
1)you were in fact born without a nut sack.
2)breaking a nail pisses you off but you manage to survive the task at hand, but your not happy about it.
3)you scream like a little girl running from outside to undercover but then refuse to go inside
4)you do actually run for exercise and not use an elipitical.
5)have no problem listening to semi-sexual inuendos when training with guys and are able to widdle them down with emasculating jokes.
The size of a woman's fortitude is in direct proportion to the size of her attitude.
Stay tuned...
Anyone who can make reasonable sense of that question has either:
a) Proven they do, in fact, have their Chick Card or,
b) Taken yet another hit to their Man Card status.
Can we fix this with pictures of bikes or the Tribe. After all, men are visual.
I'll put a Hold 'Em poker technique to use and blind vote "C."
1. B – But instead of WNBA x 5, how about Jackie Kennedy x 5? (…and no, I’m not a particularly political person, but I happen to admire Mrs. Jackie)
2. This one is easy. There is no doubt about it; there is one distinguishable characteristic that all real women have. One credential that fully exemplifies what the chick card is all about. I have yet to meet a man who has it. Any woman who has ever been married or who has spent any serious time with a male companion knows the difference. And I have been around so called “women” who have no right to be holding a chick card, and they didn’t have this characteristic. I don’t know of any well known “term” for this credential, but I’ll give you an example in the form of another question, and I think you’ll know what I mean:
Q. When you get sick, as in, the sniffles, a cold, a hang-over, even the flu – which of the following applies?(this is A or B only – you’re either one or the other)
a. You know it hurts like hell, but you suck it up and do whatchya gotta do. If you’re coughing up unidentified foreign objects, you place the call to the doc and do whatever you need to do to get well, because you, and those who depend on you, can’t afford for you to be out of commission for too long. Or depending on the condition, you keep the Tylenol bottle at your disposal, use it when needed, and nobody knows the difference. You know that laundry can still be done even though you don’t feel well, and the kids can still be taken care of when you’re sick. When you vomit, you always, always, always make it to the toilet, no exceptions. And when you’re done, you aren’t too sick to thoroughly clean and disinfect anything you might have contaminated.
b. If you have the sniffles, OMG you are sick. If you have a cold, you are sick as a dog and it could be pneumonia. If you are suffering from a hangover, you are “just not able” to get out of the bed before noon. And the flu, well, if it’s anything worse than a cold you put yourself on “bed rest” and sincerely need to be waited on. You hope the rest of the world can manage, because you are way too sick to worry about anyone else right now.
If you answered "A", you know what the Chick Card is all about. If you answered "B", or you weren't sure of the answer, the Man Card is for you.
Question 1 -> I'm with Bolder.
Question 2 -> ?!?!?!?!?!
This must be an American thing, coz I totally don't get it?
What's a "man" card, anyway????
I, as a woman, do the best I can, laugh at my faults, and cheer on the other women who are doing their best, whether it be "better" or "worse" than my own abilities/times/efforts. That's what it takes to be a TRIgirl.
http://www.trigirltraining.com
Card?? We need a card??? Nobody told me!!! I thought I grew out of the whole carding thing when I reached 30!
I think while lots of people have made good points, FeLady has hit on something.
In my experience almost nothing gets women who were previously complete strangers chatting together like bosom buddies (ha!) in the locker room like one of person complaining about bras.
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