Sunday, September 04, 2005

IKEA meatballs, my secret weapon


No, this has nothing to do with a training advantage gained by eating pre formed dog food carefully congealed in brown ooze with a compliment of ligonberry sauce on the side. I did manage a speedy 9 miles on the treadmill followed by a rigorous weight routine before the dreaded IKEA meal. Try saying that with a mouth full of burgoo. My muscles seem to have forgotten what weights are all about, and I can barely raise my arms today, but I digress. It is MN Tridaddy's birthday weekend which means he pretty much is king for the days and gets to do whatever he wants. Yes men, whatever he wants, within reason. (Within reason being a wife's favorite caveat) At any rate, he wanted to eat at IKEA Saturday night. It was a rare Saturday night with the kids, so off we went. I think he holds to the mistaken belief that IKEA is a cheap dinner with the Tribe. Granted, we feed a family of six for $12.52 and there is the promise of an hour's free child care afterward, but here is the dirty little secret: those 15 meatballs leaves him wanting to take a walk, which inevitably leads to the maze of housewares which is a marketing marvel. By the time we reach the check out point, I've accumulated a yellow bag full of fairly pointless but absolutely essential doo dads. I've also remodeled the living room 7 times over and have taken the dimensions for a new bedroom. Now, granted, I think ninety percent of IKEA is prefabricated crap, but I buy and scheme in spite of myself. I know where to shop for a higher level of quality and thus, the $12.52 dinner now costs $1765.32. Which is no small price for being made to consume these.One saving grace, having been raised in the southwest, I know the value of a bottle of sauce. The great tragedy in scadanavian food is that it actually has the ability to un do Frank's Hot Sauce. By undo, I mean a sauce generally capable of peeling the skin from your tongue is reduced to a whimpering ketchup when engulfed by swedish gravy. If only their neutrality could have been so pervasive in WWII.

We have "One last Tri" tomorrow, which is actually a good excuse to exercise early and swill beer and bar b que for the balance of the day with the local tri club. It is going to be 95 here tomorrow, so a lake is sounding pretty decent. Have a great Labor Day to all.

4 comments:

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Comm's said...

wait was there more written after, yes men whatever he wants?

Mistress has discovered the wonder of IKEA meatballs so we have them about twice per month. Mighty Mo even likes them.

I don't know about hot sauce though try dipping them in mayonaisse, de-lish.

Wil said...

Mayo!?? Gag, Com!!! Yuck, that one is going to be hard to rinse out of my virtual mouth. Seriously.

Hot sauce is a wonderous thing, ain't it? I didn't know they were so vile a thing, but I'm glad for the warning! Thanks!

Chris said...

There are very very few foods that hot sauce cannot make better! :)