There are things that you dream about and you scheme about when you are a 20 year old looking for adventure and excitement. Then life comes along and sends you some detours and 17 years later you find yourself standing at the edge of a dark, gaping hole. And as you stare into the inky abyss, flecked with shards of ice you feel the weight of a thousand eyes, and what was once a dream begins to ebb towards nightmare domain. All bad dreams have spectators, a mob keenly intent on seeing you make a fool of yourself. The truly heinous ones capture the moment for the world to behold. So, you take a moment to contemplate life and you ask, what the hell am I doing here?
And, as with all things potentially cataclysmic, it is good to run and sort through the loose ends of your life. So you embark off on the snow packed path and encounter the white rabbit, an idol of snow that might lend some wisdom to your plight, except that said rabbit has been encrouched upon by an army of canines which threaten to reduce the icon to a pile of lemon slushie. So you run on, but all the while you feel the pull of the black hole beckoning you to return. And since the brand upon your arm is the mark of the guppy, the lowest position of social hierarchy, you are beholden to return.
But to your amazement and delight, while you were running a large enclave of fellow guppies have gathered, all drawn to the abyss, intent on virginal sacrifice. All join the queue that will return you to the hole. The mass jitters and twitters quietly, each one contemplating his rise in social standing if the hole can be conquered. Plunge, swim, under the flag, 12 meters, pole, ladder, graduation! As you stand in line watching your fellow guppies take the plunge surrounded by those sharks and barracudas who have paved the way, you barely notice the gusting wind as it buffets your naked legs and arms making all future shaving obsolete. Your turn approaches, all eyes are on you now, leaving only one thing left to say,
C A N N O N B A L L !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy expletive Trihubby! The brief unconcious moment underwater notwithstanding, that was the damndest thing I've ever done. Will I do it again? Of course, there's a social order to climb and no one wants to be a minnow for the rest of their life.
Happy New Year!