Monday, June 20, 2005

A funny thing happened on the way to the pool


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Up at 5:00 today-it's bike-swim-bike brick day. It was an incredibly putsy start, and not just because it was early. I've noticed that my training has regressed back to workout thinking. So, I went meta-cognitive on the bike ride. It couldn't be helped, the MP3 died at a 1/4 mile-so no distractions. Just thinking about what I am thinking.

I began multisport training in January. I had a goal, I wanted to compete in a triathlon-not just complete-but compete.

I trained with intensity, as if some dark menace was chasing me from behind. Now, I've crossed two finish lines because failure and "just give up you idiot" didn't catch me. I no longer fear what lies behind, I can slay that dragon with the knowledge that I can do it because I did, twice. What I fear now is what lies ahead. Namely, Incompetent swimming moron lake. Well I think it's actually called Turtle Lake, (oh the irony isn't lost there), and it's the first leg of the next tri I am supposed to do. I haven't registered yet, because frankly, I don't want to swim again. My first tri had a pool swim and the entire race unfolded precisely as it had in training. The second tri was my first lake swim. I approached the race with the idea of managing the swim, giving my all on the bike and burning out the run. I simply wanted a clean swim, what I got was a strange morphing of every conceivable stroke. I lost my edge as soon as I started stroking-forget competing, just get out of this water. Refocus, swim well for awhile, panick, sidestroke blah blah. I left the water that day and was thrilled to finish the race. I think my confidence to race is still floating in the silt out there in Buffalo. I don't want to dissappoint myself like that again. I like being able to do what I think I am able to do. How odd, I thought "I can't" or "you can't" would be the greatest obstacle-turns out "I won't" is an ominous beast as well.

4 comments:

Comm's said...

I completely agree with your swimming issue, may not agree so much as have the same feeling and had the same results.

I can only say that with swim drills and practice it gets better. I still have fears over my endurance but I can only do so much in training. Somethings have to be taught by doing.

Wil said...

Oh, we have the same demons. I can swim all day in the pool because of those magic security blanket lane dividers and the whole nothing nipping at me or trying to strangle me thing that it also has going for it.

I've learned that the only way to get over it is to go through it...over and over again. Sign up for the race, you'll be one step closer to kicking its a$$.

Flatman said...

Haven't you heard of the new super hero? Ugh, I am "not good swimmer-man". Will I ever get better? I probably need a coach, but am too cheap! Flounder away!

bunnygirl said...

Open water swimming is my bugaboo, too. If I'm not wearing my wetsuit, I get this crazy notion that I can't really swim and I'll drown.

They say it really does get better with repetition and if you have someplace to practice on a regular basis, count your blessings, get a friend to follow you in a kayak and you'll be swimming like flipper in no time!