Wednesday, June 22, 2005

The Ax Man Cometh

In a previous post Trimama squared admonished us not to covet our neighbor's house, his wife, her finishing medal nor his ass. I mournfully confessed I covet Stenslands ass, and I stand absolved. Confession is good for the soul, therefore, I also covet Kahuna's ass. Not his maximus but his Madone-us. My slow growth fund for a road bike is well, slow. So in the interim I am frankensteining a Nishiki pawn shop find to gain more teeth -sorry "Will da Beast".

I went to my local bike shop yesterday and happened upon a curious thing.

The last toll of the school bell summons a cache of monochromatic t shirted crumbcrunchers to every local pool, park and play place. Kid camp staffers suffer a quirky notion that similarly clad urchins will sequester like geese in flight. The valium deprived screeches of where is Jimmy defy the theory. I've attempted to color coordinate one or two of my munchkins on occasion in hopes that at least one will be transported away for at least a short while. But alas, they do role call and I've had to retrieve the red faced yute from the bus.

The store next to the bike shop is a little house of horrors they like to call the Ax Man. It's "My Local Hardware" on qualudes. A truly bizarre surplus store.

As I pulled frankenbike from the minivan a school bus pulled into the lot. Oh, the bus driver has some time between routes, how nice he can run some errands.

Off the bus came the monochromes and their intrepid and similarly clad teen leader.

They're not going into The House of Ax Man Horrors"?

Hum. Well I guess field trips need to take on all sorts of dimensions. Here's a little preview of what the urchins encountered.

I'm asbestos bear, please hug me, originally uploaded by TRIMAMA.

Soon to be seen at all retail locations.

So I got these great masks instead. You get used to the burning sensation in your eyes after awhile.

He comes to life when the store closes it's doors-but he can't get down from the parachute-so he's stuck...he's entered the twilight zone

Aaaaagggghhhhh!!, originally uploaded by TRIMAMA.

Mommy they took us to a store and there were heads and they were staring at me and shrieks.....

Barbie Hell, originally uploaded by TRIMAMA.


William Lobdell said...

The Kahuna is hurt that his ass isn't coveted.

Nancy Toby said...

You're cracking me up, lady! I can see your sick sense of humor is just like mine!! :)

Tracy said...

GAHH! Man, I just had a freaky dream, welcome to my subconscious crazy doll heads. Guh!

Comm's said...

Tri-mama, I have been debating about a new bike. I have a medium 1998 Softride Roadwing, named Lucille, with low miles. Great bike really and my bike guy who stands to make money off me if I sell her and get another, is like 'Why, shes great."

Anyway I am 5'10" and the beam swing will go from 5'8" to 6'0" Check her out in my archives, for April 22, 2005 and if interested let me know. Believe me I have no intention of profiting on this. If cash is tight, this could work out for you.